Step jokes

Why did the emo step in front of a car? To get to the other side.

Family all eating at the table.

Brother: "Hmm, I think I feel gold."

Sister: "Stop the cap."

Brother looks under the table and says, "Nope, just a gold digger."

Dad laughed.

Stepmom storms out of the room.

A friend took me out to his shed and was showing me all his tools, when he pointed to a ladder. "That's my step ladder," he said. "I never knew my real ladder."

You know, the strangest things happen. My mom said, "Step on a crack, you break your mama's back, but if you step on a line, you break your father's spine." I stepped on the line. It didn't break his spine. Mom, who is my father?

If your sister steps on your toe, what will you call it?

Brinnia so fat when she stepped on a scale, it said, "I need a bigger one."

A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"

The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."

The officer said, "There is no traffic."

The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"

I was thinking of starting up a stair company, but there were too many steps to it.

Walking is just running with extra steps.

What did the stepdad say to the flower? You're grounded!

A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In every step you take, My support stays true.

"Gosh, it's raining cats and dogs," said Suzie, looking out of the kitchen window.

"I know," said her mother, "I've just stepped in a poodle!"

Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?

'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!

I asked to borrow a book from the library. It was titled "Suicide in Ten Easy Steps." The cunt just stood and said, "Cheeky bastard, you won't bring it back!"

My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.

Why? Why would you do that?

Yo mama so fat that when she landed on the moon, instead of saying "One small step for man kind," she said, "One small step for world domination!"

You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."

I was walking down the streets with my parents and my sister. My mum said, "Step on a crack, break your mother's back." I stepped on a crack. My sister has been in the hospital ever since.

My grandpa's last words before he died in Vietnam were, "What the fuck did I step on?"