State jokes
Yo mama's so fat, she was overthrown by a small militia group, and now she's known as the Republic of Yo Mama.
Does a midget count as an orphan?
Did you hear what happened to Lorainna Bobbit? She was in an accident on the Garden State Parkway. She told the State Police Officer, "That some dick cut her off."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Utah.
Utah who?
You're talking to me.
In 1941, Hans, a young German boy, was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, Hitler announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where is the United States?" Hans asked.
His father pointed at a map of North America.
"Aren’t we currently at war with Russia? Where might that be?" he questioned his father.
The man pointed towards the Soviet Union.
"And I’m told we’re also at war with the British Empire. Where is that?"
The father pointed out all of the territories owned by the British.
"Where is Germany again, Father?"
He pointed to their home country in Central Europe.
Hans pondered this information for a second. "One last question, Father."
"Yes?"
"Has Hitler seen this map?"
What do you call a virgin from Alabama? An orphan.
The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971, and the Libertarian Party has lost every presidential election since 1972, and according to the Libertarian Party the Libertarian Party is the only political party in the United States that is the party of principle. If the Libertarian Party is the party of principle then why hasn't the Libertarian Party won a presidential election since 1972?
Because it is politically motivated.
It's better being depressed and suicidal than being happy, know why? Happiness never lasts forever.
What is the difference between a prisoner and an orphan?
One of them is wanted.
Why couldn't Jesus have been born in Florida?
Answer: They wouldn't be able to find "Three Wise Men" or a virgin!
Me die.
I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.
I can also tell if they are standing.
Your face is horrific like the state of the Twin Towers.
If Mississippi bought Virginia a New Jersey, what would Delaware?
Idaho... Alaska!
I’d give you a nasty look, but you already have one, bummer!
Your hairline's so far up, they call it a skyline!
Why does the wind always blow from the "West" in Washington State?
Answer: Because IDAHO SUCKS!
Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?
What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.
P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.
What do you call a virgin from Alabama?
Your hairline goes so far back that it stretches the length of Ohio.