Star jokes
How do stars get their name?
By a black hole because it's sueeeee!
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
What do you call a rapper who LOVES space?
Snoop Star.
Why did the rapper bring a telescope to the studio?
To see his FUTURE in the STARS.
Texas is such a shitty state. There’s a reason it only has one star.
Memes
DIS IS NUT FOR KIDS
What did the star say? It's Star Trek.
Why did the rapper always carry a camera?
Because he wanted to "capture" the rap star!
Why didn't the movie star argue with the customer service clerk?
He didn't have a good counter act!
I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.
Why did the rapper go to space?
Because he wanted to drop some INTERGALACTIC BARS!
I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were out on a hike. They had been going all day, so they decided to make camp and stay for the night. They both woke up at 3 A.M.
Holmes said, "Look up, Watson, what can you see?"
"Judging from the position of the stars, it looks like it's about 3 A.M."
"What else, Watson?"
"It looks like it will be a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What Else, Watson?"
"What am I supposed to see, Holmes?"
"Elementary my dear Watson, someone stole our tent!"
What is God's favorite planet?
Saturn because it has a ring around it.
What do you call the Spanish translation of the 9th Star Wars movie?
Rogue Juan.
What do Americans and stars have in common?
They both love shooting up.
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.
What do you call a person with one arm, one leg, one eye, and one ear?
ONESY.
“Hey dad, how do you kill a star?” - Give them drugs.
Your forehead's so big, Jupiter's moons look up to it.
If you shined a light on it, it would reflect and be a star in the Andromeda galaxy.
Your forehead's so big, it's the main foundation for the wall of China.
Your forehead's so big, it makes up half of the Milky Way's mass.
Your forehead's the reason why the Earth still spins.
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Outdoor Entertaining by Patty O.
Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First.
Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes.
Music Theory by Amanda Lynn Player.
Meterology 101 By Wendy Reign and Sonny Daze.
Oh God By Dixie Rect.
Please Don't Stop By Craven Moorehead.
Life And Times Of A Porn Star By Dixie Normous.
Right Stuff By Dang Lin-Wang.
How To Take Care of Your Cat By Connie Lingus.
Right Way 2 Orgasm By Buster Cherry.
The Unwanted Child By Brooke N Rubbers.