Star jokes
Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
How do stars get their name?
By a black hole because it's sueeeee!
Your mama is so stupid, Patrick Starr ran away because he thought she might be contagious.
Why didn't the movie star argue with the customer service clerk?
He didn't have a good counter act!
I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.
Why did the rapper always carry a camera?
Because he wanted to "capture" the rap star!
Why did the rapper go to space?
Because he wanted to drop some INTERGALACTIC BARS!
I just found out that one of the new Star Wars shows is going to be about the time that some malware overloaded all of their computers, and I can tell from the title that those computers use Windows!
It's called "The Bad Batch File!"
Why is chemotherapy like a five-star meal?
Because you have to have money to pay for it.
Texas is such a shitty state. There’s a reason it only has one star.
I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.
What did the star say? It's Star Trek.
They are making new versions of the Star Wars films. The names have only just come out.
There is Star Wars: Attack of the Trannies, Star Wars: The Trannie Awakens, Star Wars: Rogue Trannie, Star Wars: The LGBTQ Strikes Back, and then there is Star Wars: The Last Straight Man.
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were out on a hike. They had been going all day, so they decided to make camp and stay for the night. They both woke up at 3 A.M.
Holmes said, "Look up, Watson, what can you see?"
"Judging from the position of the stars, it looks like it's about 3 A.M."
"What else, Watson?"
"It looks like it will be a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What Else, Watson?"
"What am I supposed to see, Holmes?"
"Elementary my dear Watson, someone stole our tent!"
The History of the Star Spangled Banner. By Jose Cannusee.
What is God's favorite planet?
Saturn because it has a ring around it.
FICTIONAL BOOKS / AUTHORS
Outdoor Entertaining by Patty O.
Over the Mountaintop by Hugo First.
Plumbing for Idiots by Duane Pipes.
Music Theory by Amanda Lynn Player.
Meterology 101 By Wendy Reign and Sonny Daze.
Oh God By Dixie Rect.
Please Don't Stop By Craven Moorehead.
Life And Times Of A Porn Star By Dixie Normous.
Right Stuff By Dang Lin-Wang.
How To Take Care of Your Cat By Connie Lingus.
Right Way 2 Orgasm By Buster Cherry.
The Unwanted Child By Brooke N Rubbers.
What do you call the Spanish translation of the 9th Star Wars movie?
Rogue Juan.