Star jokes
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Why can't orphans get 5 stars in GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
How do stars get their name?
By a black hole because it's sueeeee!
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
Your mama is so stupid, Patrick Starr ran away because he thought she might be contagious.
I’d tell BlessedBrian to aim for the stars, but it seems like his GRAVITATIONAL PULL is holding him back.
Why did the rapper go to space?
Because he wanted to drop some INTERGALACTIC BARS!
Why didn't the movie star argue with the customer service clerk?
He didn't have a good counter act!
Why did the rapper always carry a camera?
Because he wanted to "capture" the rap star!
Texas is such a shitty state. There’s a reason it only has one star.
What did the star say? It's Star Trek.
I'm making a new movie, it's called "Veggie Tales." My star actor is Stephen Hawking.
I just found out that one of the new Star Wars shows is going to be about the time that some malware overloaded all of their computers, and I can tell from the title that those computers use Windows!
It's called "The Bad Batch File!"
Why can't an orphan role-play Star Wars?
Because they have no one to play Darth Vader.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were out on a hike. They had been going all day, so they decided to make camp and stay for the night. They both woke up at 3 A.M.
Holmes said, "Look up, Watson, what can you see?"
"Judging from the position of the stars, it looks like it's about 3 A.M."
"What else, Watson?"
"It looks like it will be a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What Else, Watson?"
"What am I supposed to see, Holmes?"
"Elementary my dear Watson, someone stole our tent!"
The History of the Star Spangled Banner. By Jose Cannusee.
What is God's favorite planet?
Saturn because it has a ring around it.
What do you call the Spanish translation of the 9th Star Wars movie?
Rogue Juan.
What do Americans and stars have in common?
They both love shooting up.
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.