Stand up jokes

What is the worst comedy for disabled people?

Stand-up comedy!

I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."

Then which one are you?

You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.

Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.

POV you are drunk and telling jokes and no one is listening 😭😭😭

I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!

My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.

What do you call the worst joke ever?

Well, according to my mom, I am.

My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.

I was in Russia listening to a stand-up comedian making fun of Putin.

The jokes weren't that good, but I liked the execution.

So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.

He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"

I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.

I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.

What sucks about disabled people?

They can't stand up for themselves.

What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?

Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"

Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.

LOL

Imagine Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady but could not stand up.

Teacher: Stand up if you think you are stupid.

After a while, a student stands up.

Teacher: So you think you are stupid?

Student: No, I'm not stupid. I just felt bad because you were standing by yourself.

Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.

I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.

The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.