Stand up jokes
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Perform fellatio.
One day little Jonny is in class. It is the second day back to school. The teacher is annoyed with the kids, so she goes to the front of the class and says, "If you think you are stupid, stand up." Little Jonny stood up.
The teacher asked him, "Why do you think you're stupid?" Little Jonny said, "I don't think I am stupid."
Then the teacher asked little Jonny why he stood up. Then little Jonny replied, "I just felt bad seeing you standing here alone."
What if Stephen Hawking was the Real Slim Shady, but no one knew because he couldn't stand up?
Some say Stephen Hawking couldn't stand up for himself 😂
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
None of these jokes really took off.
There are 4 people in a line. Three stand up and say "We are standing up for cancer," and then there's the one in the wheelchair.
There’s this girl who gets bullied for being in a wheelchair.
Why don’t she stand up for herself?
So, I was at a stand up comedy show in Russia where the comedian was making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good, but I loved the execution.
What if Stephen Hawking was the real Slim Shady, but couldn't stand up?
This is our motto- "Never fear orphans! You are even more special than diamonds."
Orphan club for ppl who stand up for orphans!
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
I see, you guys jokers are SANS-ational!
Teacher: Stand up if you think you are stupid.
After a while, a student stands up.
Teacher: So you think you are stupid?
Student: No, I'm not stupid. I just felt bad because you were standing by yourself.
Why don't paralyzed people laugh?
They hate stand-up comedy.
My friend who is in a wheelchair told me a joke, and I burst out laughing. I told him he should be a stand-up comedian.
Gwen just wanted to help you with the bullying.
Tip 1. Ignore them; bullies are really just cowards.
Tip 2. Stand up for yourself; it's ok for people to also help you, but you do the same for yourself!
Tip 3. Just let them be; they're just stupid!
Love you-Iariah
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: no one stands up.
Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room*
Little Johnny: *stands up*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.
Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?
He thinks she should stand up for herself.