Stand up jokes

I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"

Why was Stephen Hawking always bullied?

Because he couldn’t stand up for himself.

I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?

What do you say to a crippled man getting bullied?

"Why not you stand up for yourself?"

Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.

I would tell a Koby joke...

But it would just crash and burn.

Why do disabled people always get picked on?

Because they can’t stand up for themselves.

Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!

Me: Why? They don't land well together?

I bullied a handicap today.

What is he gonna do? Stand up for himself?

Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?

'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.

What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?

Stand-up comedy.

What does WTC stand for?

"What Trade Centre?"

I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.

I bullied a kid in a wheelchair. I told him to stand up for himself.

How can a guy do stand up comedy in a wheelchair?

I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...

Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?

I told him to be a stand-up comedian!

Hi, I’m Joe.

Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.

New teacher: Everyone stand up if you think you are stupid.

Student: Stands up.

Teacher: Why did you stand up?

Student: I hate seeing you stand up there by yourself.