Stand up jokes
None of these jokes really took off.
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
Why did Hitler go for handicap?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?
A handicapped person tells a good joke, but he can't be a stand up comedian.
My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.
Once I was in South Korea doing stand up comedy... and I started with a "hidden" joke and I said: "I'm so happy to be here in one of the most beautiful Korea's in the world..." which is a good joke but they didn't get it, and they looked at me badly... so I said "I'm here in the South which is more beautiful... South good, North booooooo." But still nothing, they kept glaring at me... then I realized that maybe I was in the wrong Korea.
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.
Why are so many people making fun of people with wheelchairs?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!
If a woman gets raped, just walk away, don't bother. Cheer on the rapist if you want.
They believe they are equal to men, right? So they are able to fight back, right? Then prove it! My EQUALITY!
This girl told me people call her ugly because she is disabled. I told her to stand up for herself.
Teacher: "Stand up, class!"
She is sitting down.
Teacher: "Whoever stands up is stupid!"
Some people like Stephen Hawking jokes, but he will never be a stand-up comedian.
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"
There are 4 people in a line. Three stand up and say "We are standing up for cancer," and then there's the one in the wheelchair.
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!
I hated getting bullied in school because I could never stand up for myself.