I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
Why was Stephen Hawking always bullied?
Because he couldn’t stand up for himself.
I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?
What do you say to a crippled man getting bullied?
"Why not you stand up for yourself?"
Why couldn't Professor Xavier fight Magneto? Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
I would tell a Koby joke...
But it would just crash and burn.
Why do disabled people always get picked on?
Because they can’t stand up for themselves.
Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!
Me: Why? They don't land well together?
I bullied a handicap today.
What is he gonna do? Stand up for himself?
Why did the people think Stephen Hawking was disrespectful?
'Cause he didn't stand up for the national anthem.
Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
I’m going to reenact the ending of Saw (2004), except I won’t stand up and shut the door.
Hi, I’m Joe.
Hey, you know what I told the kid in a wheelchair?
I told him to be a stand-up comedian!
I bullied a kid in a wheelchair. I told him to stand up for himself.
How can a guy do stand up comedy in a wheelchair?
New teacher: Everyone stand up if you think you are stupid.
Student: Stands up.
Teacher: Why did you stand up?
Student: I hate seeing you stand up there by yourself.
I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...
What does WTC stand for?
"What Trade Centre?"
What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?
Stand-up comedy.
