Stand up jokes
Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.
You know, people always tell you to stand up for yourself. Why didn't anyone tell the World Trade Center that? 🤔
There are 4 people in a line. Three stand up and say "We are standing up for cancer," and then there's the one in the wheelchair.
I hated getting bullied in school because I could never stand up for myself.
Someone was bullying Stephen, so I said, "Why do you not stand up for yourself?"
I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! After all, they can't even stand up for themselves.
Why couldn’t the bike stand up?
Because it was “two tired”!
A drunk man walked out of a bar and kept falling flat on his face. He wondered why this was until his wife spoke to him:
Wife: "Why is your face all bloody?"
Husband: "I was so drunk that I couldn't stand up, so I kept falling on my face!"
Wife: "Idiot. You left your wheelchair at the bar!"
This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance, and I'm tired of it.
Today, I push him out of his wheelchair.
I bullied a kid in a wheelchair. I told him to stand up for himself.
No matter how hard I try, I will never be a stand-up comedian.
I was doing a race, and I started after everyone 'cause I fell, but when I got up I realized I couldn't even race, not because I was behind, but because I can't go straight if I'm gay...
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
Why do disabled people not like comedians?
Because they do stand up.
No offense to anyone though. I don’t understand why everyone is bullying a person named Gwen?
My opinion is well “it’s just a regular person wanting to do jokes. You never know. It could be an adult or a kid.”
So leave her alone. Thank you. 😁
How can a guy do stand up comedy in a wheelchair?
You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all, they can't stand up for themselves.
A disabled man stands up.
A blind man says, "You can stand?"
A deaf man says, "You can see?"
A mute person says, "You can hear?"
The disabled man says, "You can talk!"
Doctor: "What the actual f**k"
Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”
Why can't Stephen Hawking win any arguments?
Because he can't stand up for himself.