Stand Up Jokes

Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand up.

I should be ashamed of myself for making all these jokes at the expense of the disabled! after all, they can't even stand up for themselves

what is the one thing cripples can't do......stand up comedy

HAHA I HAVE MY OWN JOKE CATEGORY NOW

If I was a history teacher I’d make the two twins stand up and throw a paper airplane at them

My friend and I were joking about a wheelchair kid and another kid came up and said to the wheel chair kid you should stand up for your self

I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall and when I got out a handicap man told me that I was an a**hole and I told him “bet you won’t stand up and say that to my face” and hen he broke down.

This one kid never stands up for the pledge of allegiance and I'm tired of it. Today I push him out of his wheelchair.

What is the worst comedy for disabled people?

Stand Up Comedy!

Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.

One day a teacher stands up in front of her class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and says that if there is one then he/she should stand up. After a minute a boy stands up.

The teacher then asks the boy if he actually thinks he's an idiot.

The boy says, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."

Is it still stand up comedy if the comedian doesn’t have legs

my girlfriend dumped me today apparently I don't stand up for her in fights I don't care she use to push me around all the time

You guys should be ashamed of yourselves, making fun of the disabled. After all they can't stand up for themselves

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

So the other day i saw a child in a wheelchair

he was getting bullied alot so i came up

And said why dont you stand up to those bullies

I always hated being born a catholic as a kid, the way you have to keep kneeling down, bending over and standing up all within a few minutes of each other while at church, I was always thinking “for God’s sake just pick a position and fuck me”