Stand up jokes
I went to a stand up show with the person who made my life a joke.
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.
This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"
"Of course," she says.
The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"
The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"
I went to a library and I started to make fun of a disabled guy. He started crying, and I said, "Stand up for yourself!"
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.
What couldn’t the boy in the wheelchair do when he saw a bully? He couldn’t stand up for himself.
The wheelchair kid laughed at my test score, so I told him to stand up to the anthem.
Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.
The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"
Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."
I can't stand disability jokes.
POV you are drunk and telling jokes and no one is listening 😭😭😭
What do you call someone who makes a joke about society?
The Joker.
haha why couldn't the bike stand up because it was too tired.
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.
There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.
What caused the Great Depression? A lack of comedians.
Why does Stephen Hawking only do one-liners?
Because he can’t do stand up.
Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”
He was in a fight, then a person said, "Stand up for yourself!"
Stephen was a mad role model. He never taught me to stand up for myself.
What comedy skill can’t any cripple master?
Stand up.
The kid in the wheelchair was getting bullied, so I encouraged him to stand up for himself. I don't know why he started crying.