Stairs

Stairs jokes

My mom and dad got home from a party pretty late. Why do I know? Because I was playing Minecraft all night.

Anyways, they get home and start fumbling up the stairs and being really loud. I could have swore I heard them fall down. I assumed they were drunk. I was just playing my Switch when they come into my room. Now I'm about 10 at the time so I watch them get undressed IN MY FUCKING BED! I then just stare at them as they notice me before I witness anything. They say that they were doing "intense kissing" the next morning. I believed that at the time, but now I've been to health class. I now know the truth. I wish I hadn't.

I saw some kids bullying a kid in a wheelchair. I grabbed the kid, pushed him down the stairs, and said, "GTA physics."

My friend: You're so skinny, you never miss the elevator when it's closing. You just slip right through!😂

Me thinking it's a gift from God: 🕴️😎

Yo momma's so fat, she rolled out the bed, out the room, down the stairs, smashed through the window, rolled down the road, and got stuck in the Grand Canyon.

How do Chinese people get their names? Their parents throw woks down the stairs and name their children after the sound it makes.

Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.

One dark stormy night when I was 8 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee. Half asleep, I walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door, I felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically, and the ghostly sound stopped. Terrified, I did what I had to and went back to bed.

The next 3 nights, the same thing happened, and finally, I decided I had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up, I went into my parents' room and woke my mom up and said, "You have to come with me and see this, it's really important." Half asleep, she murmured, "Oh, what is it? Can't it wait until the morning?" I pleaded, "No, you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost. When I go in the middle of the night, I can hear a ghost sound. Then when I open the door, I feel the cold as it swoops through me, and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "Oh, so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."

So, a kid is taking a test, and the paper says, "In a pink bungalow, there's a pink fridge, a pink bed, a pink TV, and a pink cat. What color are the stairs?"

So the kid answers pink, like the idiot he is.

My wife slept with another man and got pregnant. She told me 9 weeks later. I said it's ok and told her let's talk downstairs, so I pushed her down the stairs.