Kobe Bryant jokes just don't really fly well now.
Sports Jokes
What was the ballpoint's favorite sport? Pen-nis.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Juan on Juan.
Why do orphans miss half their basketball season? Cause they don't have home games.
It's the Olympics.
Q) Why did the man decide not to run in his race? A) Because of Olympiad.
What do you call an Indian gymnast? Balance Singh.
There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.
News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestler's legends grew, a match was set up between the two, America versus Russia. The match would be held in Texas.
John began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, “This Russian has a move called the Mongolian Death Grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian Death Grip. DO NOT let him get you in the Mongolian Death Grip.”
The day of the match finally came. Just before each wrestler stepped onto the mat in front of the capacity crowd, the coach once again said, “Whatever you do, do not let him get you in the Mongolian death grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian death grip.”
Four seconds into the match, the Russian had the American in the Mongolian death grip. The coach buried his face into his hands and cursed John for not listening to his advice. All of the sudden he heard the crowd irrupt in a chant of USA USA USA. He looked up and saw the Russian pinned by John. The coach ran out to meet John and embarrassingly told him, “I didn’t see... Once he had you in the Mongolian Death Grip I looked away. How in the world did you get out of the Mongolian death grip?”
With heavy breath, John told him, “Well coach, that Russian grabbed me and twisted my body in ways I never imagined possible. I was wincing in pain when I open my eyes and right in front of me were two testicles. So I bit them.”
“What???” Said the coach... “John I don’t think that is legal. You could be disqualified.”
“I don’t know about that coach. But I can tell you one thing. You ain’t got no idea how strong you are until you bite your own balls.”
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home is.
What do you call it when a boxer cums? Busting a nut.
Why did the tiger lose at poker?
Answer: Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Q: How do basketball players stay cool during a game?
A: They stand near the fans! 🏀🏀😆😆
Mfs be saying Kobe is good at basketball cause he is 6 feet, ye 6 feet underground.
What do you call two Mexicans playing 1v1 basketball?
One on one! Just think about it. It makes sense.
What’s similar between the twin towers and Kobe Bryant?
They both can crash down.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger.
What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?
Dodge the coat hanger!
(On their 1-2 loss to Watford) Ty: Well, we mustn't forget that it's been raining so...
Robbie: It's been raining???
Ty: Yeah!
Robbie: Are you being serious??? It's raining for both teams!
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Most likely because they can't find home.
I have big balls, said the kid holding two soccer balls.
So the coach got mad at me because I'm the only one on my team who is only a bit on the spectrum, and I was just keeping the ball to myself. The coach pulled me aside and said, "Pass to others." I said, "Why?" And he said, "There's no 'I' in 'team.'" I said, "Yeah, but there's an 'm' and an 'e.'"
