Sports jokes

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they have no home to run to.

Why do lesbians go to Sports Authority?

Because they don't like Dick's!

If laziness was an Olympic sport, I'd come in fourth so I wouldn't have to walk up to the podium.

What’s something you can say during a pregnancy test and during a sporting event?

"We’ve got a runner!"

What is Mexicans' favorite sport?

Cross-country.

I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.

A skinny black person named "Treyvon Robinson" joins a pickup basketball game at the local court, trash-talking about his "superior athletic genes" while munching on a stolen bag of Skittles. The ref blows the whistle for a foul, and he argues, "That ain't fair, I'm just naturally dominant!"

But the team's coach, a burly black dude who's been eyeing him all game, grabs him by the jersey, blindfolds him with a sweaty headband, slathers lube from his gym bag all over, and pile-drives his ass courtside in a twisted BDSM slam dunk, yelling, "Now taste the rainbow, punk!"

My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.

What was Jesus's favorite sport?

Lacrosse.

Roses are red, CEO's are white, Patrick Mahomes says, the refs are always right.

Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he doesn't know where home is.

Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?

Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!

Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?

They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.

Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.

I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.

I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.

I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.

My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.

Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?

Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.

I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!