Sports jokes

What was Jesus's favorite sport?

Lacrosse.

Roses are red, CEO's are white, Patrick Mahomes says, the refs are always right.

Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he doesn't know where home is.

Which is Ronaldo's favorite son, Matteo or Cristiano Junior?

Neither. His favorite is San Marino, perfect for stat-padding with tap-ins and penalties!

Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?

They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.

Playing soccer in a wheelchair is basically Rocket League in real life.

I wonder if Kobe Bryant enjoyed his last flight.

I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.

I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.

My favorite thing to do in libraries is put cookbooks in the women’s sports section.

Why do orphans like playing tennis so much?

Because it’s the only way they’ll ever get love.

I was in the corner shop to buy some lottery tickets, and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

What is the difference between Nicole Brown Simpson and cancer?

OJ couldn’t kill cancer.

I heard P. Diddy got a job as a defensive coordinator.

He’s used to penetrating aggressively.

My cousin really loves baseball.

He always brags about how many home runs he hit in the minors.

Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?

Because he successfully finished a race!

Calling Alabama's football team an astonishment would be the biggest understatement of the century, especially since they continuously catch balls from someone who isn't related to them.

What do you call a rapper who LOVES winter sports?

Ice Cube.

What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?

There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.

What’s a priest's favorite sport?

Golf, because most of the holes are less than 18.