Sports jokes

I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.

China should be a baseball team because they can take out the whole world with just a bat.

I was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.

Why can't Hitler join track?

Because he can't even finish a race.

Why is Donald Trump so jealous of Usain Bolt?

Because he successfully finished a race!

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

What's Al Qaeda's favorite football team?

New York Jets.

Even Steph Curry can't hit threes from behind your hairline.

What’s a Mexican’s favorite sport?

Cross-country.

Bob and Brad loved baseball. When Brad was dying, Bob asked Brad to see if there was baseball in heaven. Brad died, and two weeks later, Bob woke up to Brad's voice. Brad said, "I've got good news. They do have baseball in heaven. Bad news is that you're up to bat next."

What's the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

What's a pedophile's favorite part of a hockey game? Before the first period starts.

What's it called if you give a kid in a wheelchair a ball? Rocket League.

What's brown and rather bad for your dental health?

- A baseball bat.

Why can't Chinese people play baseball?

Because they eat the bat.

What do you call an ice skating dwarf?

A midget spinner.

The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.

I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.

"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.

"Boxing?"

"No, ... hurdles."

I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

I bet China can be the best baseball team. They took out the entire world with just a bat.