I was at a supermarket in Barcelona and I noticed the alarm had gone off. There was a thief at the store; the tea bag section had been ransacked.
Luckily they found the thief, Pionel Pessi, with boxes of his favourite tea, Penaltea. Shame on you, Pessi!
What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench?
The NBA.
Girl: Boys are like sports, they get played.
Boy: Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
Which is the best sport at making fat people lose weight?
Canned hunting.
I was in Portugal enjoying my lunch when I saw a man choking! I wanted to save him, but a local stopped me. “That’s Penandes, he always chokes when it matters most and ghosts in big games.” True enough, Penandes’ Ghost emerged from his body! Poor Penandes, may he get well soon!
MISSING!!
MISSING!!
Name: Ghostiano Penaldo
Missing: 27/6/2021 vs Belgium
Characteristics: Disappearing in big games + Diving + always ranting "give me penalty".
Last found - Practicing tap ins.
Possible Locations: Penalty Spot, Parma, Crotone.
Might be dangerous towards good players.
What is Jesus' favorite sport? CrossFit.
I was playing FIFA and out of nowhere the game glitched during a penalty shootout.
Pionel Pessi appeared out of nowhere, took my pen and skied it. Thanks to him, I'm out of UCL and was sacked in Career Mode. Shame on you Pessi!😡😡😡😡
I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!
Your mama's so fat, when she went to the baseball tournament, she knocked everyone out of the park.
What do you call a country who needs another race just to be the best country in sports?
America.
My Wi-Fi must be Kobe, because it crashed hard.
Why are Nazis so good at soccer?
Because they're so good at shooting.
Why doesn’t Pakistan have any football teams?
Every corner they get, they open a shop on it!
Why can't orphans never run all the bases in baseball? Because they can never make it home.
I was studying in Turin, and my professor told me I had to use PENS only.
I looked in my bag for pens, and they were GONE. I looked at the surveillance footage and saw that CRISTIANO PENALDO stole ALL MY PENS. I was fuming. Shame on you, Penaldo!
Why can't the Chinese play baseball? They ate all the bats.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
What is it called when two Mexicans play basketball?
Juan on Juan.
I'd tell you a Kobe joke.
But I am afraid it wouldn't land well.
