Sport jokes
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home plate is.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
A basketball player walks into a strip club:
"Hi, I heard I could bounce some balls here?"
What's the 9/11 survivors' least favorite team?
New York Jets.
What do you call a fish that doesn't play basketball?
Kobe: Stop doing dark humor!
Me: Why? They don't land well together?
Why do orphans make terrible baseball players?
They don't know where home plate is.
What do you call someone who is in an airplane crash who was a 2006 Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes?
Josef Vasicek.
What did Josef Vasicek think before the plane hit the ground?
"Oh shit, is my name still on the Stanley Cup?"
Why was Josef Vasicek a Stanley Cup champion in 2006?
Because you know who was jealous and he went down in 2020.
You can give a hockey team airplane a new source of heating, but it went too far on September 7th, 2011, when the Yaroslavl plane crash happened.
If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.
But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.
What's the difference between the 44 out of the 45 people who died in the Yaroslavl crash and the nine people who died in the helicopter crash?
Only one was ever famous. Vasicek and Kobe Bryant were the champions.
I want to make another joke about Josef Vasicek, but I think if I make the NHL, I'll die in an airplane crash, so I won't risk it again.
What did Kobe Bryant and Josef Vanicek have in common?
They both won a trophy at least once, Vanicek a 1x Stanley Cup champion with the Carolina Hurricanes, and they also both crashed and burned in a helicopter or airplane.
What's the difference between an orphan and baseball?
In baseball, you know where home is.
Why can’t Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
Few jokes (sorry if they have already been used).
1 I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2 Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? Because he always has a great fall.
3 Have you heard the one about the skunk? Never mind, it really stinks.
4 It's always windy in a sports arena. All those fans.
5 What is the best day to go to the beach? Sunday, of course!
6 Comic Sans walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve your type here."
7 What's the easiest way to get straight As? Use a ruler.
8 Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because there were lots of knights.
Coach: Why can't orphans play baseball?
Me: Because they can't get a homerun.