Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.
Speed Jokes
Who's the fastest reader?
Me, 'cause I'll be jumping off so many stories.
What do retarded cops give tickets for?
Going over 45 in a potato zone.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour?
A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck.
"Guess how I got to Germany so fast?"
"Because I was Russian!"
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and remember, there are no speed bumps.
Who are the fastest readers?
911 victims. They went through 88 stories in 7 seconds.
Yo mama is so slow, they had to wait six hours for the crane to finally show up.
Yo mama is so slow, when she stepped on the highway they had to order a crane to come move her from starting traffic.
Once a cheetah, always a cheetah.
I have a fear of speed bumps. But I am slowly getting over it.
Paul Walker's death was a tragedy, but at least he went out in a blaze of glory.
Do you know where time is? Because it keeps flying by.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
What do you call a redneck sister who runs faster than her brothers?
A virgin.
What do you call a white girl that can run faster than her brothers?
The redneck virgin.
What food does a cheetah eat?
Fast food.
Chuck Norris can make 5 minute frosting in 4 minutes.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 Victims, they went through 89 stories in 7 seconds.
