Special jokes
How can you be fast and slow at the same time, getting a gold medal in the Special Olympics?
What instrument does a special ed kid play? An autistic guitar.
I bought my fat wheelchair son a treadmill for his birthday, then that big brainless special motherfucker cried over it and threw a fit cuz his fat special ass couldn't get up out of his wheelchair and said for Jesus to raise him up and give him working and movable legs.
Why are autistic kids a stupid, brainless, special freak?
What's so special about Palestinian sex dolls?
They blow themselves up.
BlessedBrian is always stupid, but he’s been making a SPECIAL EFFORT recently.
What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?
"I thought what we had was special!"
I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome.
I want my first time to be special.
I took a special needs child to a shooting range.
Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.
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In a bowl of golden delight, I savored each bite so bright, The potato salad, oh so fine, Left me feeling oh so divine.
The diced potatoes, oh so neat, In a dressing so cool and sweet, With onions and eggs, a treat, My taste buds did dance and greet.
The mayonnaise, a creamy dream, With mustard's zesty scheme, Together they did blend so well, My senses did take a spell.
The herbs, a fragrant delight, Added flavor with their might, Parsley and dill, a perfect pair, In this salad beyond compare.
So here's to the potato salad, A culinary work of art, That left me full and satisfied, And in my heart, a special part.
How do you kill a retard?
Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
What do you call a special needs army?
The special forces.
What’s better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?
Not being retarded.
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.
I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet."