How do you kill a retard?
Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"
What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?
They both have special needs.
What do you call a special needs army? The special forces
What’s better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?
Not being retarded.
What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?
They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"
I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.
I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...
"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"
Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."
"Oh, right. How's it going?"
"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."
"Wow! What about NATO?"
"They haven't turned up yet."
What do you call an autistic My Little Pony?
Twilight Special.
What do you call a kid with a special sense of humor? Autism, hahaha!
What do you call a fudge packer who has special needs?
A gay black male that has Down Syndrome.
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
What do you call a special police officer?
Officer down!
What's the difference between a Russian potato and a U.S. potato?
The U.S. potato can still compete in the Special Olympics.
I was gobsmacked when I encountered the Jacko special at a Bunnings sausage sizzle. A 40-year-old sausage on 7-year-old white bread.
A special quote: “I was gonna slap that girl into tomorrow!”
A special quote: “No, Mackenzie! You're the savage beast!”
What do you call someone with notorious special needs and an extra chromosome?
The double trouble.
