Special jokes

I lost my virginity to a girl with Down syndrome.

I want my first time to be special.

I took a special needs child to a shooting range.

Poor bastard had no idea which direction to run in.

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I was walking down the street one day, and I passed the gun store. I walked in, and everything was half off. I didn't know back-to-school sales had started already!

In a bowl of golden delight, I savored each bite so bright, The potato salad, oh so fine, Left me feeling oh so divine.

The diced potatoes, oh so neat, In a dressing so cool and sweet, With onions and eggs, a treat, My taste buds did dance and greet.

The mayonnaise, a creamy dream, With mustard's zesty scheme, Together they did blend so well, My senses did take a spell.

The herbs, a fragrant delight, Added flavor with their might, Parsley and dill, a perfect pair, In this salad beyond compare.

So here's to the potato salad, A culinary work of art, That left me full and satisfied, And in my heart, a special part.

How do you kill a retard?

Give them a knife and say, "Who's special?"

What does an autistic kid and a loaf of bread have in common?

They both have special needs.

What do you call a special needs army?

The special forces.

What’s better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics?

Not being retarded.

What's the difference between a seal and a special kid?

They both go: "Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!"

I'm at my happiest point in life. I'm dating someone that's autistic, and I was just saying I needed someone special in my life.

I know a lot of people hate tapeworms, but they will always have a special place in my heart.

When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.

“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”

A Russian wife turned to her husband and asked...

"What's this special military operation our glorious leader keeps talking about?"

Her husband replied, "It's a proxy war between Russia and NATO."

"Oh, right. How's it going?"

"Well," he replied, "so far we've lost 200,000 soldiers, 4,000 tanks, 500 aircraft, numerous helicopters, loads of armoured vehicles and artillery pieces along with our 'flag ship'."

"Wow! What about NATO?"

"They haven't turned up yet."

What do you call an autistic My Little Pony?

Twilight Special.

What do you call a kid with a special sense of humor? Autism, hahaha!

What do you call a fudge packer who has special needs?

A gay black male that has Down Syndrome.

What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?

Motor disease.

Buy KFC = 1 dead orphan in your house.

What do you call a special police officer?

Officer down!