What do you call the musical kid who is very aware of his surroundings?
C sharp minor.
What sound did Stephen Hawking make when he died? Power off.
What does the cow say when it's going on holiday? - MOOOOOYORK.
The pterodactyl went in my bathroom and peed.
When I was in the shower, I couldn't hear it. Why? Because the "p" is silent.
I was taking my dog on a long walk when I heard a loud scream. I ran towards the sound. There I found Penaldo sinking in a pit of mud. I was trying to help him out when my dog said, "Leave him, he's been in the mud for years." I walked away shocked but not surprised.
It's getting near midnight, and I can already hear Big Ben. He's upstairs pumping the wife.
What did the meditating egg say?
A) Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmlet!
Why are mountains 🏔 so funny? Because they’re hill areas, do you get it? They are hill areas, like a mountain is a hill area. It sounds like hilarious, so you get it.
A funny joke:
Knock knock. "Who's there?" Who. "Who who?" Ha, who who, you sound like an owl! "Fuck you!"
In a game, there are crew members that have to keep the ship running. But little did they know, there was an imposter among them.
Sound familiar? 🤔
Well, in September 11th...
If a furry looks like an animal, sounds like animal, and acts like an animal, can I run over it with my car like an animal?
What do crows use when they get a phone?
A "CAWing" card!
Two women, Jane and Emma, are in the afterlife waiting for judgement.
Emma turns to Jane and says, "I'm just curious, but how did you die?"
Jane replies with, "I burnt to death."
Emma, shocked, responds with, "That sounds horrible! What was it like?"
Jane answers with, "It first felt really hot and painful, but then I felt nothing. How did you die?"
Emma replies with, "Well, I believed my husband was cheating on me. I decided to leave work early one day to make sure he was loyal. I found him on the phone with his mother. I thought he was hiding something from me so I ran to the bedroom and found nothing. Then I sprinted to the kitchen and didn't find anything. I then jolted outside to the backyard and just found that he hadn't cleaned the pool. I was so tired from running that I fell over into the pool and drowned."
Jane retorts with, "Well if you checked the oven neither of us would be here right now."
Genie: What are your 3 wishes?
Me: Make every word 4 letters long.
Geni: Wish Gran.
Me: Make every word start with "br".
Genie: Brsh Bran.
Me: Bree: brke brer brrd brnd brth "uh".
Bruh: Bruh bruh.
Bruh: Bruh bruh bruh.
Bruh: Bruh bruh.
What noise does Sally like to say? Splat!
What sort of movies do cows like to watch?
Moosicals!
What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?
Ow!
How does Jesus whistle?
By blowing through the holes in his hands.
What is the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who are you? Are you an owl or something?
