A man is in purgatory. He says he suddenly was shocked by something, so he died. The guard at purgatory says: "I can give you one more chance to live!" He revives the man. The man gets up, but something doesn't feel right... He looks in the mirror to see what's wrong. He closes his eyes and hears something. Guard: "Welcome back! You found the problem!"
A sheep, a snake, and a drum fell off of a cliff,
Baa- Dum- Tsss
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Its Weird How Stephen Hawking's Last Name Sounds Like Walking and Talking but he Could Not do Neither of Those!
I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm she said “ is it because I warned him when hottness came” I said “ no, you don’t shut up
when some one got the ghost in them. sound in the priest busters. when something strange and it ain't no who you ganna call priest busters.
That moment when you think the music is loud enough to fart and no one would notice but then you realize that you have headphones it.
my wife accused me of cheating I told her she started to sound like my wife
What sound does a nut make when it comes alive ? Christmas 🎄
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
wats the sound that dwarfs make when they have sex
broken plates
Say crack my fingers. Now say that backwards...
A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back... The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.
Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.
A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”
“No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”
Why can't you hear a dinosaurs clap? They're dead
Whats the resemblance between a microwave and reproduction( human )? -they both make a sound at the end.
Q.What kind of school does an ice cream man go to? A.Sunday school! Psst!Don't understand?Well,"Sunday"sounds like "Sundae".Get it now?Nope?Sorry.Plus,it's a ice cream homophone joke.
Freddy: Im coming for u >:)
Me:god no help
*game notification pops up with very loud sound*
Fruit punch sounds like the name of a gay boxer.
What instrument do skeletons play?
The TromBONE!
What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with mysphonia? One makes the annoying noises while the other hates the annoying noises
