Sound jokes

Q: What do you call a Chinese billionaire?

A: Cha-Ching!

What do you call an obnoxiously loud fog horn? A beginner saxophonist.

Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!

Why are drums and autistic people the same?

They both go "uh uh uh uh uh uh!"

An old man is sitting on a park bench, crying his eyes out. A jogger stops, feels bad for him, and asks, "Sir, what's wrong?"

The old man sobs, "I'm 85 years old. I have a 25-year-old wife at home who is a supermodel. She cooks me gourmet meals every day, she keeps the house spotless, and we spend every night in total, passionate bliss."

The jogger looks confused. "Wait... that sounds amazing! Why are you crying?"

The old man looks up, tears streaming down his face, and wails: "I can't remember where I live!"

In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.

It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds.

An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf, and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.

I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.

My victims still scream.

What's a horse's favorite football player? NEIGH-mar!

What do a baby and a grenade have in common? They both make loud noises when thrown.

Hey Jorden Calerendiá, your last name sounds like a sea food shop that I get my fish from.

Your roasting is trash just like you. Boy, stop roasting on Addison and Gwen and others; you're probably 5 years old trying to dislike that. That roasting is like from 1920, get a life.

If you say the word "gullible" slowly, it will sound like you're saying "orange."

There was a little boy named Chris who was addicted to Roblox.

One day, his grandpa fell into a deep coma caused by a head injury.

One day, little Chris went to visit his poor grandpa. He brought his Windows 10 too, but it had no charge in it. After pulling out some wires and placing his into the wall, he started to hear a long beeping sound, but ignored it and continued to play Roblox. Chris's parents came and saw what had happened.

The dad then yelled, "You dumb f***, you killed my father!!!"

Then Chris said "Yeah. He was worth robucks, too."

The reason Stephen sounds like a computer is because he ate his USB.

What does Michael Jackson say when he stubs his toe?

Ow!

What do we want? Plane noises!

When do we need it? Neeooooooowwwww!

I know it sounds cheesy, but I feel grate!

What do you call a mushroom that makes music?

A decomposer.

What do you call the musical kid who is very aware of his surroundings?

C sharp minor.

Bro, yesterday this bird made the weirdest chirp. It sounded something like this:

"Error code 6, 4, 4, 2, sound: bird call, failed to play, government drone 0, 7, 7, 5 requires maintenance."

Anyone know what bird that is?