My mom told me that my friend Paul is coming over, and he is going to sleep over, so I was happy.
The next day, I ask my mom, "Where's the dog?" My mom asks me, "What dog?"
Then I said to my mom, "I heard Paul say, 'Do you want it doggy?' and you said 'Yeah.'"
I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...
It was wrong on so many levels.
"Stupidity isn’t a crime, so you’re free to go."
Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.
Ever heard of the currency TNT?
All Arab economies are booming with so much TNT!
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through something so small?"
Did you get your phone from the desert? No wonder why your texts are always so dry.
This joke is so corny I could eat it off the cob.
My friend was in a crash, so when he got put in a wheelchair, people bullied him, so I told him to stand up for himself.
My friend said she wanted to fly, so I pushed her off a building.
Yo mama so fat, she ate McDonald's!
I’m so straight, you could call me a supplementary angle.
My jokes are so dark that I am surprised that the cops didn't shoot them yet.
One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.
Why do orphans cause trouble at school?
So the teachers will call their parents.
An Aboriginal Australian told me that I was on his farmland.
So I told him he was on my cock.
(I'm Australian btw, respect to my American bros🇺🇸)
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.
So I threw him out the window!
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
My sister is so stupid, she thought LBJ was Spanish for blowjob.
