Someone's jokes
Son, you are not precious, so pack your bags because someone else is going to adopt you.
Dad, what do you mean someone else will adopt me?
Son, you're adopted!
Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.
I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.
Someone asked the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton why she lost the 2016 presidential election to Donald John Trump, and the former 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said, "Because someone asked her what she would do for a Klondike Bar?"
I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.
Yesterday, I saw an advert with a random woman dancing, and someone said that they were beautiful.
And then I said, "Except the fat people." And then I got sent to my room for saying that.
Why did the towers fall? Because someone in Call of Duty hijacked the planes and crashed them into it.
When I saw someone jump out of one of the towers, I yelled, "Do a flip!"
Why does an orphan go to church?
So they can call someone "father."
When someone says don't talk back to me, say, "I wasn't aware that answering a question was considered talking back."
Can someone be my daddy?
When you see someone, you say, "Go suck bananas."
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they don't have someone to call daddy.
Why did the female orphan become a prostitute?
Because she wanted someone to call "daddy".
You're so weak, someone breathed on you and you flew away!
I just want to say good morning to Gwen and everyone on this site. Have a nice day.
What if it's okay if someone can see my blue jokes, hello, bully, love, crazy, and Ariana jokes? Thanks!
What does NASA stand for? Nobody Asked, Someone Answered.
I hope you're an organ donor so your organs can go to someone who deserves them.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: no one stands up.
Teacher: Oh c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room*
Little Johnny: *stands up*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.
You're so skinny, if someone farts in your direction, you will fly away.
Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, "Why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed?" He wouldn't reply.
His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day, took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night, Thomas kept on thinking to himself, "I never said cheese before someone snapped my picture." He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend, "Fillet in him feel better."