Someone jokes
Today was a bittersweet day...
Bad news is my friend was assaulted. Good news is I successfully sneak attacked someone!
Why does an orphan like church so much? So he can call someone "father."
How do you circumcise someone from Alabama?
Kick his sister's jaw.
If you ever think no one cares about you,
kill someone, then the news will.
If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
Your forehead is so big someone thought it was a billboard.
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.
I was finally released from jail a year after I beat up someone on New Year’s Eve.
Don’t blame me for being suspicious of an Arabian counting down from ten.
What do you call someone who farts in public? A private tutor.
The best way to tell someone that you don't like them is by texting them "370HSSV 0773H" and tell them to read it upside down.
A man is telling his story to someone. "My friends always said that they would kill me if I wore Gucci or Supreme. On April 1st, I wore both and conversed with them."
"Interesting."
"That's the story of how I got to the morgue," he says to The Gatekeeper of Heaven.
I lost my job by giving up my seat to someone.
I didn't know you're not supposed to do that if you're a bus driver!
My math teacher asked me what a liked term was. I told her I couldn't say, never experienced it.
My teacher asked the class to stand up if you're dumb. No one did, so she said, "Come on, someone must be dumb," and pointed over to the left side of the classroom. Lil Jonny stands up. "Do you think you're dumb, Lil Jonny?" asked the teacher. "No, I just feel bad for you. You're the only one who stood up," replied Lil Jonny!
What's one way to drain someone's ego?
Hand them a mirror, and say they should see how ugly they turned out in life.
Roses are red,
Violets are blue, I’d rather be single than with someone like you.
Boi, you can't be talking because if someone punched you in the face, you will be the one to apologize.
Why the actual fuck is there drama on this website? Anyone can fake to be someone they're not and no one will know the goddamn difference. I’m just trying to look at/make jokes, and I’m getting shit from people saying, “It’s too offensive” or something like goddam. Just take that shit somewhere else. Smfh.
Don't break someone's heart because they only have one; instead, break their bones... they have 206.