“Why did Susie fall off the swing?” “Because she had no arms”
“Why could she get up off the ground?” “Because she had no friends”
“Knock knock” “Who’s there?” “Not Susie, she’s still on the ground”
“Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?” “Everywhere” “Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?” “Because it was in a different body bag”
“Why did Susie drop her ice cream?” “She was hit by a bus”
“Why did Susie fall off the swing?” “Someone threw a refrigerator at her”
My mom asked, "Why are you so depressed? It could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer."
I replied, "I wish I were Tracy Latimer because then someone would kill me."
A failed marriage is like an Avengers movie.
First someone snaps, then half your stuff is gone.
There were four people who went to land... only three returned..... Why??? They left someone for memories!!!!
Ever heard of account stealing? Ever heard of someone by the name of "#SHUT THE HELL UP GWEN DON'T EVEN DATE PRINCE ON FACE BOOK!!!!!!!! I HATE IT WHEN UR HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?"
what do you say to someone being cremated? you urned it
Someone ordered pizza on a tower... A plane came
I photo bombed someones selfie and then they yelled "Why would you do that i was trying to take a family photo!"
I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed , but someone died
Why do orphans go to church.
To call someone father
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former soviet union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
Someone in the twin towers ordered 2 pizzas plane.
Q.How do you know when when someone is an opposition leader to Putin? A. When they are falling from their balcony.
Wanna know why the plane actually crashed? Someone turned of flight mode.
(Or a kid just turned on airaplane mode.
Why do orphans like being criminals? Because then someone actually wants them
Yep f someone says to you” I can’t roast trash” say well some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother
If someone says nobody asked you could say " well nobody asked for you to talk".
when the bully says “you’re adopted” so you hit him with the “at least someone wanted me”
Why do orphans love going to church? So they can call someone father.
How do you make a body disappear? You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in ground and putting dirt over them is alot of hard work!
Psa im joking and dont condone these actions.
