Someone jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'd rather be single than be with someone like you.

Just because someone is white doesn't mean they are bad.

Sure, white Americans all treat Trump like a deity and are proud of their heritage of enslaving blacks.

But Canadians and Australians don't throw a hissy fit every time they see someone not white, and they don't think Europe is a country.

Someone asked me why I'm still here... the answer is simple: I don't want to be used as a school assembly.

If there was someone selling drugs around here, we'd know.

Why did the orphan become a str1pper?

So she can have someone to call daddy.

I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated.

When someone asks you why you went bald, say it wasn't a choice. It just happened.

Yeah, Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad, I know, yeah, I'm sad, I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah.

I gave her everything. She took my heart and left me lonely. I think broken heart's contagious. I won't fix, I'd rather weep. I'm lost then I'm found. But it's torture bein' in love. I love when you're around. But I f**kin' hate when you leave. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah. Who am I? Someone that's afraid to let go, uh. You decide if you're ever gonna let me know, yeah. Suicide if you ever try to let go, uh. I'm sad I know, yeah, I'm sad I know, yeah.

Thomas Montgomery would eat his fillet of fish in bed every night. He had fillet of fish bedding and everything. His roommates always asked him, "Why are you eating your fillet of fish in bed?" He wouldn't reply.

His family took him to the best psychologist in the field. Thomas continued emptying his bank account on fillet of fish to eat in bed. His friend said one day, took a picture of Thomas and told him to say cheese. They laughed and went there separate ways. Then in bed that night, Thomas kept on thinking to himself, "I never said cheese before someone snapped my picture." He repeated it again. The next day he thanked his friend, "Fillet in him feel better."

Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.

Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)

What is an animal that kids get for Christmas and can easily give to someone else?

A white elephant.

what do you call a lazy gay?

someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.

I can always tell if someone is lying just by looking at them.

I can also tell if they are standing.

Why does an orphan love to go to church?

Because they have someone to call father.

Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.

What do you call someone who is extra virgin?

Mrs. Frame.

I took 7 coins from someone. He even came back from the dead to get them.

Someone is talking about you behind your back, make a run vhaleka.

What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?

Someone who COUNTS BARS all day!

How do you know someone is autistic?

They get stuck in a loop very often.