Someone jokes
Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.
He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.
What did the tower say to the other?
"Man, someone's on fire today!"
Hey, I’m George, and this is how to figure out if someone is a psychopath.
Go into someone’s search history, and find “Cuphead ship fanfic”.
Hey George, why do you have Russia x America countryhumans?
Why is Stephen Hawking not scared of anyone?
His wheelchair always backs him up.
I kicked a ball into someone. Now I got a red card.
What's one way to drain someone's ego?
Hand them a mirror, and say they should see how ugly they turned out in life.
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
Your hairline looks like someone tried to erase it using Microsoft Paint.
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
What’s the difference between someone’s wife and a plate?
They both have to stay in the kitchen.
Someone told me I looked gay today. I told him that my clothes just came out of the closet this morning.
What do you call someone who takes care of chickens?
A chicken tender.
Ok, there has to be SOMEONE on this website right now. Whoever that is, wanna chat? (I'm just bored)
If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?
I told my friend that someone accused him of blowing dead bears. I said I defended him by responding that I saw 1 get up and walk away.
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.
These days, dating life is hard. You put yourself out there, and it's hard to find someone. The only thing to do is turn to family.
My mom: Your life could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer.
Me: I wish I were Tracy Latimer, then someone would kill me.
Why did the orphan finally go to church? So they could call someone "father."
Why is it that when I'm in school doing PE, it's fine for someone to say "boys against girls", but the moment I say "blacks against whites" I'm the bad guy?