Someone jokes

Like if you know someone emo.

"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."

I hate it when people say to suck it up... I mean, sometimes I don’t want someone’s dick in my face.

A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"

What do orphans do after they win a game?

Nothing, they have no one to play games with.

If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”

If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.

Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"

There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.

So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.

If you ever think no one cares about you,

kill someone, then the news will.

Why did the orphan become a stripper?

To have someone to call "daddy!"

I found someone's hairline. It was on the western front.

Why do orphans always go to white vans when someone asks?

Because they want to feel wanted.

Why did the orphan turn gay?

A: Because he wanted someone to call him "daddy."

What do you call it when someone fucks shoe inserts?

Orthopediphilia.

How do you know someone from India is a good sniper?

They have a dot in the middle of the head.

Why do orphans love going to church?

Because they can call someone "father."

Why do orphans go to church?

Because they have someone to call "Father."

Someone asked me to go to hell, so I drove to my local middle school.