Someone jokes
I was in Russia at a stand-up comedy performance about someone making fun of Putin, but the jokes were awful. The execution was nice, though.
What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.
Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.
What do you call it when Panera Bread decapitates someone?
Panera Behead.
When someone said to an orphan, "My boyfriend ghosted me," the orphan says back, "Don't worry, my parents ghosted me!" 🤣
when the person you like is dating someone
Anne Frank: This one time at camp, someone had too much gas.
Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"
Why do orphans want to be gay?
So they have someone to call "Daddy."
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were out on a hike. They had been going all day, so they decided to make camp and stay for the night. They both woke up at 3 A.M.
Holmes said, "Look up, Watson, what can you see?"
"Judging from the position of the stars, it looks like it's about 3 A.M."
"What else, Watson?"
"It looks like it will be a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What Else, Watson?"
"What am I supposed to see, Holmes?"
"Elementary my dear Watson, someone stole our tent!"
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
Someone I know is an ant. I feel like a mountain to them.
Why do orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”!
I kicked a ball into someone. Now I got a red card.
Why do orphans become hookers?
'Cause they can call someone "daddy."
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.
Someone: Stop making jokes about sh!
Me: Oh, sorry man, I'll cut it out, I'll cut it out deep!
Doc: Can I help you?
Girl: Doctor, I have pain in my heart.
Doc: When did it begin?
Girl: Right now (seeing him like a doll).
Doc: Hh...do you like me? I know I am handsome...
Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. You just look like someone I know.
Doc: Who is that? Is your boyfriend?
Girl: No, it’s my pet (rabbit), his name is Rokie.
Someone broke into my house and took my anti-depressants... I hope they're happy now.