Someone jokes

Like if you know someone emo.

"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."

I hate it when people say to suck it up... I mean, sometimes I don’t want someone’s dick in my face.

A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"

What do orphans do after they win a game?

Nothing, they have no one to play games with.

If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.

If someone has a gun and tries to shoot you, just say, “Hipity hoppity, that gun is my property.”

There was this Down syndrome boy that always wanted to be a cop, and he did. He pulled someone over and said, "Know why I pulled you over?"

The guy replied, "Because I was speeding?"

He said, "No, because you're black."

Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"

The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”

Why didn't Trump help someone who can't walk?

He thinks she should stand up for herself.

Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.

Someone went to fly and thought of pizza.

Why do orphans have sex?

To call someone "daddy"!

So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.

Why do orphans love going to church?

Because they can call someone "father."

Why do orphans go to church?

Because they have someone to call "Father."

Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.

Why does an orphan go to church?

So it has someone to call father.