Someone jokes

If you unironically think someone who killed themselves should have their body in jail, you are honestly such a fucking embarrassment to humanity.

Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"

Someone asked me to go to hell, so I drove to my local middle school.

The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”

Someone went to fly and thought of pizza.

When someone throws something at your forehead, it stops moving and goes into orbit around your forehead.

I was spending my holiday in Paris with my gf. As we were walking near the city, a meteor hit and killed my gf.

Forensics did an autopsy on the corpse and concluded that someone missed a pen and hit my gf from the PSG training ground. SHAME ON YOU PESSI FOR RUINING MY LIFE! 🤬😡

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?

An American.

When someone says: "You're a mistake."

Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."

What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?

One of them has someone to mourn them.

What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?

5 dollar footlongs.

Why do orphans want to be gay?

Because they will have someone to call "daddy" for once.

What happens when an orphan is told that someone had found their parents?

They cry...

They scream... with joy.

"Oh wait, no, that wasn't your parents."

Orphan grabs a knife out of the kitchen, lets just say, the orphan didn't live to tell the tail...

What’s the favorite song of someone with an Oedipus Complex?

“My Mommy Comes Back”

Why do orphans love role-plays?

Because they can call someone "daddy."

Why do orphans go to church?

Because they have someone to call "Father."

Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.

So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.

The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.

Why does an orphan go to church?

So it has someone to call father.