Someone jokes

I photo bombed someone's selfie, and then they yelled, "Why would you do that? I was trying to take a family photo!"

Chuck Norris strangled someone with a cordless phone.

Why did the orphan become a prostitute?

So they could finally call someone "daddy."

Why do orphans go to church?

To call someone "father."

How to know something won’t be fun:

Someone will say, "C'mon, it’ll be fun!"

I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.

I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.

What do you call someone that no one loves?

An orphan.

Why did the orphans go to the church?

Because they need someone to call "father."

Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.

And that's what made him go down in history.

Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"

How do you make a body disappear?

You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!

P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.

Why do orphans love going to church?

So they can call someone "father."

At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.

Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"

My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."

If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"

Someone in the Twin Towers ordered two pizzas, plane?

Why do orphans like being criminals?

Because then someone actually wants them.

Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?

Someone turned off flight mode.

(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)