Someone jokes
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭
Someone is talking about you behind your back, make run "vhaleka."
Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?
When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.
If someone is mean to an orphan just say, "I will call your mum," and make them cry even more.
FUCKING ELI BRUUUU
Whenever your ex says, "You'll never find someone like me," the answer to that is, "That's the point."
Why do orphans go to church?
Not because they are religious, because they want someone to call father.
What do you call an orphan who likes football?
Because someone will actually give him something.
Someone bullied a disabled person.
The disabled person said they can't stand it.
What is a kind thing to say to someone and what is a rude thing to say to someone?
Kind thing to say to someone: You are the most perfect you there is. Your outlook on life is amaz- (BLAH, BLAH, BLAH ENOUGH!)
Rudist thing to say too someone: You more uglyer than my mama's boyfriend. You are a son of a b word! Okay that is so much rude and why you can say that to a tree but anyway not the point. Bonus: The world's most weirdest name to say to a girl, is Nutter butter, we know that's a weird *and* stupid name because she is not nutter or butter she is a person not a thing! Oh well bye!!!!
Why does the orphan like nature? He can call someone "mother."
Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"
Leo: Mom?
Mom: Yes!
Leo: Is rape good?
Mom: NO!
Leo: Good cause I raped someone!
Mom: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
Never break someone’s heart, they only have one.
Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
Nina, you better run to hell. You're going there anyway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You don't be mean to Alex!!!!!!!!!!! He is sweet, kind, loving, and protective!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What do you do after you rape a deaf girl?
Cut off her fingers so she can't tell anyone.
Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide
Me: Aren't they the same thing?
What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?
Breathing exercises.
I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!