Someone jokes
What do you call someone that no one loves?
An orphan.
Q. What do you call a gun that rapes someone?
A. An assault rifle.
What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.
Someone on here said it previously:
My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is until my mom took the urn away from me.
Three people having sex is a threesome; two people is a twosome. So next time someone calls you "handsome," don't take it as a compliment.
Someone who was working in the tower must've put their phone on plane mode.
Me to an orphan: If you had a penny for everyone who loved you, I don't think you'd have any.
The orphan: But why?
Me: Because if someone loved you, they wouldn't have thrown you out.
Like this post to give someone you hate bad luck.
Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."
I'm as bored as heck, someone want to chat?
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
"Number 15: Burger King foot lettuce. The last thing you want in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus, but as it turns out, that might be what you get."
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
What do you call someone with an extra chromosome winning in a pool? Posiedown.
Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered, “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"
The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"
What’s the difference between a police man and a bullet?
At least when a bullet kills someone, it’s actually fired.
Why did the Italian American Roman Catholic priest perform fellatio on gay men at the glory hole inside the adult bookstore?
Someone asked him what would he do for a Klondike Bar?