Someone jokes

What do you call someone that no one loves?

An orphan.

How to know something won’t be fun:

Someone will say, "C'mon, it’ll be fun!"

I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.

Someone forgot to do half the questions in the history test.

And that's what made him go down in history.

How do you make a body disappear?

You use an axe, black plastic bags, a forest, a shovel, and some ice cream because killing someone and chopping them up and digging holes in the ground and putting dirt over them is a lot of hard work!

P.S., I'm joking and don't condone these actions.

Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.

Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"

Why do orphans love going to church?

So they can call someone "father."

At least someone who is gay/Carter has someone.

"When someone asks for a dad joke and you send them to the orphan page."

If you want to punch someone, just punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?

Go up to someone and say, "I'm sorry for your loss," and see what they do.

How does a non-binary ninja kill someone?

They slash them.

For someone to be stealing a bag of gold in Heaven, [they are] a criminal on Earth and [in] Heaven.

Someone handed me a knife the other day and told me that it was very smart.

I made sure it didn't outsmart me.

Q: How do you know when someone is an opposition leader to Putin?

A: When they are falling from their balcony.

Someone in the Twin Towers ordered two pizzas, plane?

If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"

My friend was in Afghanistan when he saw someone got shot, and then they bombed him. Now he called them the "Talkwakers."

Why do orphans like being criminals?

Because then someone actually wants them.

Wanna know why the plane actually crashed?

Someone turned off flight mode.

(Or a kid just turned on airplane mode.)