Someone jokes
How can you surprise someone who is blind?
Leave a plunger in the toilet.
What’s the only plus for someone who burns to death?
They get a discount at the crematorium.
How do you know someone has Down syndrome?
They're doing better than you.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
A boy was terrible at writing sentences, so his teacher gave him an assignment to help with that. The boy was to go home, write five sentences, and return to school the next day.
When he went home, he took a notepad and a pen and went to his dad for help. His dad was in a very important business call, so he angrily shouted at the child, "Shut up, you donkey!" The boy noted down that sentence. He next went to his mom, who assumed that he wanted to play video games, so she said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." That was his second sentence. For the third sentence, he went to his older brother, who was watching football where someone scored a goal, so he was jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!"
For the fourth sentence, he went to his sister, who was singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" For the last sentence, he went to his grandmother, who was cleaning the toilet and singing, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."
He went to school the next day, and his teacher asked him to tell her the sentences. The boy said, "Shut up, you donkey!" The teacher got angry after hearing this and asked the boy, "Do you want me to slap you?" The boy said, "No, my dear, tomorrow." This made the teacher so angry that she slapped the boy. Immediately, he started jumping up and down yelling, "Goal! Goal!" The teacher dragged him to the principal's office, as she was fed up with him. The principal asked the boy what his name was, to which he replied by singing, "Spider-Man, Spider-Man!" She asked him where he lived, so he sang, "Under the toilet, under the toilet."
There were four people who went to land... only three returned... Why?
They left someone for memories!
There was someone who slept late... he missed the dream!
Why do orphans go to church?
Not because they are religious, because they want someone to call father.
I went for a job interview today, and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible!"
NORTH INDIANS: Decent, but overrated af. They are the only thing that comes to many ppl's minds when someone says "Indian".
SOUTH INDIANS: Decent, but underrated af. Many ppl don't even know they exist. They are literally asked if they are North Indians.
WEST AND EAST: Decent but underrated af.
Why don't you see black people with Down syndrome?
Because God doesn't punish someone twice.
What makes 9/11 an inside job?
Someone started calling it 10/7.
Kid: Mum, how do you know someone is drunk?
Mum: See the four birds over there?
Kid: Huh, wait a minute.
Mum: A drunk person would see eight.
Kid: Mum, but there is only two.
What do you say when you hear someone tripping over at night?
Goddammit, Jamal!
Note to all moms of teens, keep a dog. That way, someone is excited to see you!
Someone on here said it previously:
My fondest childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather. That is until my mom took the urn away from me.
If you ever think no one cares about you,
kill someone, then the news will.
There's nothing quite like being told I'm wrong by someone who depends on me for food, clothing, and shelter.
When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."
Guys, don’t let nobody hurt you with words.
Like someone once said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”