Someone jokes

What would an emo say to someone to make them join the EMO side?

A: Go kill yourself!

I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:

The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"

Someone in my class described the KKK as ghosts with pointy hats... I mean, he's not wrong.

What do you call someone who makes a joke about society?

The Joker.

I went to find someone to fuck in the streets for money, and I found a prostitute, but then she raped me. After she said it was amazing and instead let me push.

I stood on the edge of a building and someone yelled, "Do a flip!"..... and I did.

A depressed kid takes a drink of water and someone takes it and takes a drink. "Oh come on, the train stopped, the rope broke, I couldn't get on the building, the gun was empty, the knife was dull, the bridge was too low, and the cliff was nonexistent, and now you took the poison!"

I was at a funeral and made a joke. No one laughed, but someone died.

Why do orphans love to go to church? Because they have someone to call father.

Someone should start a vaping company with the slogan: "Vapes that hit harder than your dad." Sales would skyrocket.

My dog died. I'm so sad.

It's sad someone has ligma.

How to know something won’t be fun:

Someone will say, "C'mon, it’ll be fun!"

One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.

Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny. Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.

Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"

What do you call someone that no one loves?

An orphan.

I kicked a ball into someone. Now I got a red card.

When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.

Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.

Not a joke, but this needs saying. Please can someone do something about all the pedo posts on here. It’s honestly just nasty.

I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.