Society jokes
What is the difference between babies and dogs?
I don't eat dog parts.
Which one gets bullied the most, autism, Down syndrome, or ADHD?
What do two priests say to each other when they walk into an orphanage?
"Let us pray."
My girlfriend who is a Jehovah's Witness had sex with me so hard, she turned to Christianity.
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.
What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a trans person?
About 3 years.
A fat homeless person begged me for food, so I said, "I can see your dinner. You had plenty!"
What does the long distance call and a Black person have in common?
They both don’t work.
I had a threesome on an elevator with a monkey and my underage, deaf, & mentally challenged sister...
It was wrong on so many levels.
What do Boy Scouts and IG models have in common?
They both be fucking sugar daddies.
About a month ago, I was at my best friend’s funeral and I told him, "Bitches always come and go." He looked at me kinda mad, kinda confused, and said, "That’s my mom, dude."
What do the initials "MAD" stand for?
Mothers Against Democrats.
My friend said, “there shouldn’t be discrimination, just black and normal.”
That was also the same guy who said [link to joke].
Man: Why can't an orphan use Verizon?
Kid: Why?
Man: 'Cause they have a family plan.
Kid: Oh, then I need to switch phone services then.
Man: Why?
Kid: I'm an orphan.
Man: *laughs out loud* That's tough!
(You can tell the joke shortened by saying, "Why can't an orphan use Verizon? 'Cause they have a family plan.")
How is the world like a box of crayons?
Nobody likes the white ones.
And a side note, it's multi colored.
"Rajesh get on bus, so many people, squeeze here squeeze there. He daydream about naughty stuff, like coffee spill but not coffee. Bus move, stop, he press close to pretty lady, she smell nice. Rajesh think how funny if something else spill, make whole bus ride wild." He laugh to self, bus ride never boring now!
I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.
So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”
How do you fit three gay guys on a bar stool?
Flip it upside down.
How do Asian people name their children?
They throw a pan down the stairs.
What would your name be? Msg it to @chelsearosegraham.
A 10 year old girl reported to her friends that her 16 year old male babysitter was touching her inappropriately. He quickly lost his job as a babysitter.
A 10 year old boy reported to his friends that his 16 year old female babysitter was touching him inappropriately. She quickly became the most popular babysitter in town amongst boys.