Society jokes
I had to share a table recently with a disabled man. When I asked him for the salt and pepper, he had to make two trips.
What are the similarities between the twin towers and my ex?
They both went down on my dad.
I made a website for orphans.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
Why can't a missing child play baseball? Cuz he doesn't know where home is.
Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?
He couldn’t stand up for himself.
Why do orphans go to church?
Why?
To finally call someone "father."
So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.
So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”
What's the difference between a Mexican and a Black person? One gets paid, the other got enslaved.
I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.
Oh, I just love talking to orphans.
There are 6 kinds of vitamins. Wanna know how the 6th vitamin was made? Just ask the Ku Klux Klan, they will tell you.
What was George's last message to humanity before joining the others?
"I CAN'T BREATHE!"
"Sweet victory" fans: Fuck the NFL. They should be disbanded!
Harvey Weinstein: I raped five girls, and the NFL was one of them.
I punched an orphan, and he told me to leave him alone. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw.
What’s one food orphans can eat?
Homemade.
What do an Apple company and an orphanage have that are different?
Apples actually get picked... Unlike little Timmy here... He's been here for 16 years.
Where do orphans have their family reunions?
The graveyard.
I figure it's ok to hit orphans.
What are they gonna do? Go tell their parents?
America has white people that are terrorists and racists. They love to blame people from different countries for what they have done.
White person: "We are not terrorists. Why would [we] ever do that in our history?"
The rest of the people: *looks at them stupid* "Y'all were the first motherfuckers to be a terrorist first and then wanting to blame others for your action."
1 person: "You still carrying that confederate flag. It means hatred and [you're] still trying to fight to bring back slaves again. Y'all say it's heritage and not hate, but [you're] clearly still a fucking loser, and your flag has an X [on it, which] means wrong. So... Still a loser. People can't be racist to a racist. It just doesn't make sense. I'm not saying all white people are racist, but I am talking about the ones who voted for Trump and be blind as hell. FUCK DONALD TRUMP AND THE RACIST PEOPLE!"