Society jokes
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.
Why is it wrong to drive around in a van offering children candy?
Because you’ll have more success if you give out video games!
What does a paleontologist and woke people have in common?
They both enjoy digging up the past.
If at first you don't succeed, blame it on the patriarchy.
What do you call a group of Alabama superheroes?
The Incredibles.
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
A woman's age is harder to get than the President's phone number.
Every depressed person just has to say, "I WANT TO JUMP OFF THAT TALL BUILDING RIGHT THERE!" and then points to the building and runs up to it like an immature child, and then they get disappointed when they aren't allowed into the building.
I just prevented a 10-year-old from getting assaulted.
Nothing much, I just decided to go home.
There are 4 billion women on earth. Why isn't it clean yet?
What do you call an apartment full of black people?
A CON-dominium.
I walked up to some Arabs and said "Alawakba," then here came the second tower.
How do non-binary people kill people?
They slash them.
Why are Asians good at math?
Because the dog can’t eat their homework.
As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.
Yesterday, I tried to help a little girl by a road stop crying. I asked her where her parents were, and that made her cry harder. So then I asked her where her house was, and she said with tears, "I don't have one." So I got her in my car and drove her to where she said she was living. It was an orphanage.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite type of candy?
A: Loli-pops.
What’s the hardest part about f...ing toddlers?
My boner.
Me: *gives her 5 dollars* Climb that flag pole. Cute female: *takes the money and goes up the flag pole* Is this good? Me: Hell yeah, that's a nice view.
*Next day* Here's 10 dollars if you do it again. *She goes up there* Me: How's the view? *She goes home and her mom sees the money* Her mom: Where you getting this money? Her daughter: I climbed a flagpole. Her mom: You know he just wants you to see your panties, right? *She goes back and does it again but doesn't wear panties* Me: Holy shit ;-; Her mom: Did you do it again? Her daughter: Don't worry, Mom, he didn't get to see my panties. Her mom:...
How did the Asian couple name their child?
They dropped pots and pans down the stairs and listened to the noises.