Society jokes
What’s the difference between a Mercedes and a Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn’t be seen dead in the back of a Skoda...
What’s the difference between a hooker and a cat?
I haven’t banged a hooker.
I told a blind kid, "See you later!"
If a lion ate a child, is the lion a child predator?
Jack and Jill wanted some pills.
So they went to the dealer; he saw they were kids and said, "Fuck this shit," then Jack rocked his ass and took all the good shit except birth control pills.
Memes
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
I made a website for orphans.
There’s no homepage.
They told me a mask was enough to get into the supermarket.
They lied, everybody else was also wearing pants.
Technically speaking, "ur mom/ur father" jokes have no effect on orphans.
What's the difference between a blind person and an orphan?
They both can't see their parents.
What is the only thing worse than being told you're adopted?
Still being in the orphanage at 13.
Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?
Boy's pants are half off.
What do you call an 18 year old orphan?
Homeless.
What did the orphan say to his stepmom?
"I need help."
Why do orphans have an iPhone X?
Because there is no home button.
Why is an orphan's favorite game Monopoly?
Because they can actually buy a house.
My friend wasn't open to the idea of me becoming a nudist.
I told him to stop being so clothes-minded.
What does an orphan call a family picture?
Answer: a selfie.
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.