How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
I don't know, either. It depends on how hard you throw them.
What's the best way to get ten babies in a bowl?
A blender.
What's the best way to get them out?
A blender.
I was walking, and I saw an orphan, and I said, "Where are your parents?"
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
There's only one gender. Women are property.
What do you call an overweight psychic?
A four chin teller.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Why couldn't the pervert cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken's ass!
Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals. They are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit. They go in and the first man comes out with a peach. He is instructed to shove it in his ass, and if he laughs, he will be killed. He tries and dies.
The second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same. When the two meet at the pearly gates, the first man says, "I had a peach. They're fuzzy. You had a grape. What's your excuse?"
"Well, I was doing fine until I saw Jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple."
Bully: You are a piece of shit.
Person: No, I'm not a piece, and I'm not brown... so no, honey.
I made a bunch of jokes about unemployed people. Sadly, all of them don't work.
Q: What did the sign say on the whore house?
A: Beat it, we're closed.
A seal walks into a club.
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
What do bitches say?
"FUCK ALL YA NASTY BITCHES!"
What's a queen's favorite drink? Royal-tea!
What do orphans need in order to mail letters?
Food stamps.
"Sweet victory" fans: Fuck the NFL. They should be disbanded!
Harvey Weinstein: I raped five girls, and the NFL was one of them.
A blind man walked into a bar, and a table, and a chair.
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?
The redneck fucks the cow.
