Society jokes

One day it was me and my sister in the house. My sister said to me, "Let's order food." I said, "We have no money." My sister said, "It's cool; we're just going to order egg rolls from the Chinese store. I know the delivery boy, and he won't charge us." I said, "Cool."

The delivery boy came with the egg rolls. I took some and ate mine in my room. I went back in the kitchen. I see my sister giving the delivery boy a blow job. I ask, "What are you doing?" My sister replied back to me, "You had your egg rolls; let me enjoy mine." Then the delivery boy said, "Don't no charge."

What is the difference between an orphan and a bandit?

One's wanted.

So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.

That’s the punch line.

Why did the female orphan become a prostitute?

Because she wanted someone to call "daddy".

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

Who are the fastest readers?

9/11 victims.

Life is like a penis: simple, soft, relaxed, and hanging free, until a woman comes around and makes it hard.

Feed the hungry with the hungry. It solves world hunger and overpopulation at once!

People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.

Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.

I've been looking for my parents for years.

For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.

Have a child you don't want? Just drop them off at a school they don't know and drive away.

What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.

Did you know that..

Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.

Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.

What kind of punch do little kids give to other little kids? The Sandy Hook.

What do you call a girl above age 16 who says she is a virgin? A liar.

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

Why do orphans get in trouble at school?

Because the school doesn't have any parents to report to.

If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.

Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?