What do you call a group of black people?
A hoodie.
You: Find a time clock that can change time.
Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?
You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!
Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.
Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.
David: Isn't that illegal?
Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.
David: I hate my life.
Why do depressed people want to kill themselves?
To be loved on the news show for 10 minutes.
What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
123 bipity bopity 321. Women are property.
An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"
The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"
A woman walked up to me and asked me for a joke. I stood there with a straight face knowing women can't be funny.
If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!
When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,
The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"
The teacher replied, "Home."
The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"
Your mom wants to tell you that you're adopted, but you were an orphan.
What do you call a Chinese rapist? Rae ping you.
You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them.
Q. What is the most endangered creature in India?
A. The baby girl.
Why do orphans like going to church?
Because they actually get to say "father" for once.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
Why can’t orphans win trophies?
Because they can’t take them home.
Me: When I saw an orphan on the street in rags.
Also me: Are you okay?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave it away?
Me: Because you have no family.
Why did the orphan say, "Help?" He needed his brother.
Boy: "Mister, can I get candy?"
Mister: No, you shit head.
Boy: Why? :(
Mister: Because I'm not your dad.
