Society

Society jokes

So I walk into a bar, and there’s people waiting in line to punch me in the face.

That’s the punch line.

Yesterday I saw an orphan walking down the street. I asked him if he was ok. He said no, so I asked him if he needed help. And he said yes, so I let him in my car and said, "Don't worry, you'll be home with your parents soon." He said my parents died. I said I know.

Life is like a penis: simple, soft, relaxed, and hanging free, until a woman comes around and makes it hard.

People shouldn't worry about how orphans would feel reading these jokes. It's not like they have parents to buy them a phone or computer to see them, or even a place to charge them even if they did have one.

Opinions are like orgasms. The only one that matters is mine and I don't care if you have one.

I've been looking for my parents for years.

For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.

Have a child you don't want? Just drop them off at a school they don't know and drive away.

What's the difference between blood and an orphan? Blood has a place in all of our hearts.

Did you know that..

Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.

Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

Why do orphans get in trouble at school?

Because the school doesn't have any parents to report to.

Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?

What’s the difference between candy and an orphan?

Candy is something everybody wants.