Social

Social jokes

Boy

The boys joking be like:

One guy: "Balls!"

All the other guys: "Hahahahaha!"

Hair

Your hair is receding more than people do when they smell you.

Life

Anyone on this app is homeless and has no point in life. Well, I'm on this app 24/7, so do I have no point in life 24/7, or am I just weird and unwanted?

Orphan

I bought this happy birthday card for this orphan.

To: The Orphan

From: ______

Asshole

What’s the difference between 69 and a family reunion?

You only see one asshole in 69.

Bar

Two guys walk into a bar. The third guy ducks.

Be smart, not stupid.

Creep

I’m enyaw and I fancy my PE teacher. She is called Kelly Pearce and I go to Beckfoot Oakbank. I always watch her because I am a creep. I live at school under the stairs, but I also try [to] follow her home, and if I'm unsuccessful I look her up on a dodgy website and go on Google maps and look at her door.

Hacker

My local hacker contacted me and told me that he hacked my computer.

I responded, “Show me proof.” He provided the username and password for my email account, bank account, video game accounts, and social media accounts. To be honest, that is the fastest “Forgot Password” procedure I’ve ever done.

Libertarian Party

Why is it that the Libertarian Party never had a formal president of the United States that ran as a Libertarian that had a presidential library?

Because the Libertarian Party is the party of principle. The Libertarian Party was founded in 1971 and the Libertarian Party has not won a presidential election since 1972, because the Libertarian Party doesn't believe in using force to achieve political and social goals.

History

I was in social studies class and I was taking an exam and I couldn’t remember a lot of the information and everyone looked up shocked. A white kid holding a gun said, “You’re about to become history.” I almost forgot that we weren’t supposed to have any lessons that day.

Punch Line

A guy asks a girl to go to a dance. She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally he gets his suit.

He decides to buy flowers, so he goes to the flower shop. The flower shop has a long line, so he waits and waits, until he finally buys flowers.

He picks up the girl and they go to the dance. There is a long line into the dance, so they wait and wait.

Finally, they get into the dance, and the guy offers to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch, so he goes to the drink table, and there is no punch line.

Orphan

Why do people make orphan jokes... their parents will get mad... oh wait, never mind, please continue.

Karma

Life is karma... because I was born, God gifted me with social awkwardness, sh*t athletic skills, and stupidity.

Fat

You’re so fat; if you go outside now, you’d be arrested for breaking social distancing guidelines.