Social jokes

Why do orphans like stealing things?

They wanted to have company.

Anyone on this app is homeless and has no point in life. Well, I'm on this app 24/7, so do I have no point in life 24/7, or am I just weird and unwanted?

Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.

You're at a funeral. Your mum says be quiet, so you snigger at the body and say, "Bye forever, bitch."

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."

Your hairline and your eyebrows are social distancing.

I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......

What do you call an orphan’s picture?

A family photo.

Dark humor is like the plague; everyone was supposed to get it.

What is black, smells bad, and long? Line to social services.

I was an orphan as a kid, and I'm pretty sure my favorite thing was seeing parents with their kids.

I think we know why.

As a fellow emo, I find these very rude and disrespectful. Please take off, or I'll tell Mom.

Also, if anyone knows any high bridges nearby, please tell me (I'm asking for a friend).

P.S. I have no friends.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Social Services...

Your mom #69.

Ur mom.

Oh wait, you don't have one.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.

That awkward moment when a fat kid says, “That’s how I roll.”

A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents. They’re appalled by his haircut, his tattoos, his piercings.

Later, the girl’s mom says, “Dear, he doesn’t seem to be a very nice boy.”

“Oh, please, Mom!” says the daughter. “If he wasn’t nice, would he be doing 500 hours of community service?”

Yo mama so ugly... when she went to the haunted house... she came out... WITH A JOB APPLICATION!

People are like tequila glasses,

you gotta shoot them down fast.