I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.
Yo mama so ugly that Mr. Rogers doesn’t wanna be her neighbor.
TJ's hairline is so far back, his friends don't even want to talk to him.
I only have a few friends, like if you relate.
Based on a true story.
My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics.
So funny hahaha this is why I don't have friends :(
Alicia was not a popular girl. None of the guys noticed her. Once she got a boyfriend, but then he cheated on her with Katy and said, "You're not sexy enough, Katy is much hotter."
So Alicia took a match, set herself on fire, and screamed, "THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!"
And then she died.
How come none of my friends have dungeons? Oddly enough, they all have "rape dungeons."
Don't take my posts seriously, take them like your ex took you—as a joke.
I have more STDs than Hicks has friends at the moment. I only have one.
My social life
My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."
Who do you call someone that steals his brother's girlfriend and [is] disowned by his whole family? Brandon.
I broke up with my ex girlfriend. Here's her number.
Sike, that's the wrong number!
ooooooooooooooooooooo
"Hi, my name is Robert. I have no life. Even my PS4 username is gay lil_bama."
I just want to say this...
You have NO maidens, (Explosion) No homies, (ExPlOsIoN) And no—please don’t say it! Rizz 😎 (EXPLOSION)
You know why they call me 007?
0 girls.
0 chances.
7 restraining orders.
Your hairline goes so far back, your mom is scared you're not going to make friends.
Know why they call gonorrhea gonorrhea?
'Cause once you have it, everyone is gone.
