New Social Life Jokes

How does Hellen Keller meet men?

She goes on blind dates.

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.

TJ's hairline is so far back, his friends don't even want to talk to him.

I posted up on my story that I got a new cut. My friends and family called the cops...

I used to be emo.

I don't need a girlfriend, 'cause I got my cousin, bro.

Nearly 40% of the world have been in a relationship; the 60% are worstjokesever.com users.

I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.

Why does the basketball never get a date?

Because they dribble.

I got up one day; my neighbor was in my house and was going to take me and my mom out. I showed my mom and my neighbor a trick. They both liked it. I asked my neighbor, "Do you know any tricks?" He said, "Yes, in matter of fact, I could tell you what your mom had for breakfast." I said, "How?" Well, my neighbor licked my mom's ass and ate her pussy out in front of me. He told me my mom had pancakes. So we were in the car; I asked my neighbor, "How did you know what my mom had pancakes for breakfast?" My neighbor said, "Well, that is what your mom made me while we were waiting for you to get up."