Instead of walking through the door, the owner of the house broke in through the window.
When he came out, a man standing on the sidewalk walked up to him and asked why he hadn't just walked through the door. The owner responded, "I'm pollo vegetarian, and I really just wanted a bit of food."
When the man looked confused, the owner said, "Windows are nature's vending machine."
What did one nut say to the other nut? "Help!"
How do you get a baby into a small bowl?
A blender.
How do you get it out? Tostito chips.
What do french fries 🍟 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
I just busted a nut. A ginger nut.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.
So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
I'm hungry.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
Don't touch my pickles - they are very picklish.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite crisps?
Microchips 😂
Once I heard a joke about chocolate. It wasn't that funny, so I just Snickered.
What do you call a guy with a sandwich?
A guy with a sandwich.
Nuts, nuts, nuts!
What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?
Pooreos.
Why did the M&M go to school?
It wanted to be a Smartie.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
Because he lost his filling.
Okay, so I ate an apple and it tasted good.
What did the nut chasing the other nut say? "I'mma cashew!"
