Snack jokes
What do you call chill legumes?
Hippeas.
Two nuts were chasing each other. One said to the other, "I'm-a cashew!"
Two nuts were walking down the street, and one was a-salted!
What is an emoticon's favorite dessert?
An emochi. (search up mochi)
What is an angel's favorite kind of tortilla chip dip?
GuacaHOLY!
J0K35 (me): So I heard China recently released a snack.
Guy: Oh, what is it?
J0K35: They call it the Asian Raisin.
Guy: Isn't that what RiceGum was when he released Frick da police?
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Bagel."
"Bagel who?"
"Toast, it's me, your arch-nemesis, Bagel, here to make up! Bye!"
Why are they called s’mores?
Because you always want another one!
What do you put on a cheeseburger? It's a wrap!
Once, there was a kid named Cale, but his classmates didn’t know it was spelled with a “C,” so they asked him if he could be their snack.
My cat is red and brown and her bones are crunchy, so does that mean she is a Kit Kat?
"Hey Modda, I'm hungry."
Peanut butter 🧈?
Zozo the hobo is single like a Pringle.
Single like a Pringle, and he loves Pringle's, get it?
joe: Are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: Well, they were until I murdered them over a bottle of Pringles.
joe: Oh, so you are an orphan and a murderer.
Every time I go to the store I look in the deodorant section and my dyslexia acts up. Instead of "antiperspirant," I read "antidepressant." At least I get a bunch of extra snacks out of my shopping mistakes.
This man walks into a bar and says, "How do I get service here?"
The assistant bar attendant tells him to take a seat as the bartender will be there to serve him shortly. After 2 minutes, the man says this is ridiculous, that he has to wait. The assistant then offers him a bar snack of free nuts, which the man duly eats. Another 2 minutes go by, and the man then says, "OK, I get it, no service of beer, but free nuts," to which the assistant says, "Hell no, the game starts in 10 minutes." Everyone laughs and claps.
What's the sun's favorite chocolate? Mars bar.
For orphans, every bag of chips is family size.
What nut is broken? A silly nut!