Sleep jokes

Me: Hey, how are you?

Depression: I'm doing fine. We are just looking for a home :3

Insomnia: Mommy, can we get a home?

Anxiety: Insomnia, wait for mommy to finish.

Depression: Anyway, here is my resume!

Me: Okie, thank you. Ok... mhmmm... WOW! Okie, this is a nice resume! (Didn't Read it...)

Depression: Also, I have two more friends that want to move in too!

Me: Ok, and their names?

Depression: Their names are: PTSD and Trauma!

Me: Ok, they seem fine (Doesn't know about them)

Depression: Okie, here is the money (a penny :(). Thank you, we will call you if we need anything.

Me: Ok, see you soon! :3

Me now hates my life. :)

Good night.

When your mom says, "Go to bed," but you reply with, "But Mom, I need help because it is inside, but we are outside."

Your mama is so stupid she stayed up all night so she can get some sleep.

What happens when Stephen Hawking wakes up from his sleep?

"Log in."

What do you call Flapple asleep? A Napple.

What is the difference between the human and a tree and a house that has to walk home and walk walk home from school? Was your name in your house? I did not have any good time for dinner today, but I did have a good night's sleep.

He never has a bad day because he always wakes up on both sides of the bed.

1, 2, Freddy's coming for you.

3, 4, better lock your door.

5, 6, grab a crucifix.

7, 8, stay up late.

9, 10, never sleep again.

I love this song, y'all! Like if you love it too! :)

When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."

My infant drew on the walls today, but I don’t know how to punish them. So I think I’ll sleep on it.

What is your car? What was your time today after I had dinner night and night sleep night? Is it a night for you and a dinner night? Night dinner night? Was the snow? I had dinner night night dinner.

Information has been leaked from government sources. When the current lock-up ends, the holder of the nation's purse, Fishi Rucksack, will launch a new initiative.

This will be to help the struggling "personal services" industry and will be labelled, "Sleep out to Help out."

How can Batman defeat the Joker? A: With a handful of sleeping pills.

My wife and I watched the movie Indecent Proposal last night. Afterwards, I asked her if she'd sleep with Robert Redford for $1,000,000. She said, "Sure, but where am I gonna get that kind of money?"

So here's the joke. A bear walks into a bar and sits down and then....then..........then................................zzzz

"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."

What did the knight say when he went to bed?

"Good Knight!" lul

I would like to die like my Islamic father, in his sleep, but not like the rest of the people in the plane or those in those identical towers.

What time is it when it gets dark out?

Bed time.