Sleep jokes

Confusion life question!!!

* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Goliath.

Goliath who?

I need to Goliath down and sleep!

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to wake up sleeping pills.

I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.

I hate nightmares.

I put a guy in a fridge. He said, "I had a nightmare!"

Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?

You: Yeah, but why so many people?

Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.

You: Dude!!!!

Guy on Fortnite: "Ima sleep with your mom lmao."

Orphan: Starts crying.

What question can you never answer yes to?

Answer: Are you asleep yet?

How do you make a child’s parents happy?

Put the child to sleep.

I played catch with my friends, but they keep going to sleep when I throw it.

Dentist said I grind in my sleep... he a real one for that.

You're like a cat, all you do is eat and sleep.

Why go to sleep because he was bossy?

What do you call a sleeping cow?

Ground beef.

From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”

I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.

Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.

So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...

I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”

Why did the bike fall over? Because I was too tired.