Sleep jokes
From now on, we’re gonna call shitting the bed an “Amber Alert.”
What do you call a sleeping cow?
Ground beef.
I put a guy in a fridge. He said, "I had a nightmare!"
Dentist said I grind in my sleep... he a real one for that.
What question can you never answer yes to?
Answer: Are you asleep yet?
I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”
How do you make a child’s parents happy?
Put the child to sleep.
Your Friend: Bro, I'm having a movie sleepover tonight. I've invited 17 people, wanna come?
You: Yeah, but why so many people?
Your Friend: Because the DVD says only 18+ viewers.
You: Dude!!!!
Guy on Fortnite: "Ima sleep with your mom lmao."
Orphan: Starts crying.
Q: My dad woke up one morning about to go to work, but he was still really tired, so he decided the quickest way to wake him up was to slap him in the face.
So he asked me to do it, but I guess I don't know my own strength, and so he went back to sleep again...
I told my sister that when you go to bed with an itchy butt, you're going to have smelly fingers in the morning, and I've never heard her laugh so hard in my life.
What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?
Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.
Your mama is so stupid, she put a ruler under her pillow to measure how long she slept.
What's 2ft long, blue, and stiff and keeps a woman up all night?
Cot death.
Yo mama so stupid, she tried to wake up sleeping pills.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Goliath.
Goliath who?
I need to Goliath down and sleep!
Confusion life question!!!
* Can you cry underwater? * Do fishes ever get thirsty? * Why don't birds fall out the tree when they sleep? * Why is a building called that when it's already built? * When they say dog food is new and improved, who tastes it?
Why did the bike fall over?
It was too tired.
My friend tried to sleep on napkins.
I guess that's why they're called NAP-kins.
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?