Dentist said I grind in my sleep... he a real one for that.
I told a diabetic girl to have sweet dreams...
she died the next morning.
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling asleep (including him).
This girl came to me and said, "I got raped in my sleep!"
I replied, "I done it as a joke."
-April 1, 2020
You were sleeping, it didn't count - Chloe Foxwell 2021:)))))))
When you turn off all the annoying beeping things in the hospital, and everyone starts sleeping better.
Everything is now so expensive in Africa that witches donât serve food in dreams again. Am I lying? Okay, when last did you eat in your dreams?
How to get a girl in three steps:
Step 1: grab a pillow.
Step 2: grab a blanket.
Step 3: keep dreaming.
How do you know when it's bedtime in the Netherlands?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
Someone walks up to his dad and says, "Dad, whatâs the difference between potentiality and reality?" Soo ok, the dad says to the son, "Go ask your mother, sister, and your brother if theyâd sleep with the postman for $1,000,000." So the son comes back 5 minutes later and said, "Dad, they all said they would sleep with the postman." So, son, potentially, we have a million dollars, but in reality, we have two sluts and a gay one."
why do women rub there eyes when they wake up cuz they don't got balls to scratch
"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."
Why was the broom late? Because it had overslept.
Q. When is your grandfather's bedtime?
A. Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.
What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
On my 21st Birthday, my mom told me, "I got a nice birthday present for you. As the son and only child, you're going to get something good, something you've been looking forward to," is what my mom said.
Me, my mom, and my only friend celebrated my Birthday, then we all went to sleep. I woke up the next day. I asked, "Hey, where's my gift you said you got me?" My mom said, "Since your father left us, you have no father figure in your life, so this is your new stepfather." The only thing is, it was my only friend.
What does Michael Jackson ask little boys before going to bed? Are you sleeping?
There was a kidnapping, but he woke up.
From now on, weâre gonna call shitting the bed an âAmber Alert.â
What do you call a sleeping cow? Ground beef
