Knock knock.
Who's there?
Insomnia.
You'll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that... Well now I can't cry myself to sleep anymore...
Sleep Jokes
When your mom comes in at night then sees your... sleeping, but sees something moving, so she gets a chair and whacks it, then she says, "I thought it was a mouse."
I was at a friend's place yesterday, and... There was a mother, father, three sons, and a daughter.
That night the mother and father started fucking each other. I yelled and told them there are innocent children in this house.
An hour later, they started up again. I walked to their room and they were asleep, so I looked in the brothers' room and all three brothers were fucking the sister.
I sighed at this. "Incest aside, you guys make a cute family." I started, "So Anna, when am I gonna have nieces and nephews?" They stopped instantly and went to sleep. "Thank you," I replied before walking back to my room they let me sleep in and I passed out for the rest of the night.
What do you call Flapple asleep? A Napple.
Me: The man sleeped in a $200 bed in His hole life so why dose he need a $2,000 coffin?
My friend: They're cheaper at Costco.
Me: Oh shit, you're going to have "fun" this weekend.
This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.
What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?
Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.
So my sis thinks she's so smart. She said, "You can finish this move ten minutes later. Go to sleep."
Why did the pillow go to court?
Because it had a pillowcase!
Q: What's the similarity between a dog and a bed?
A: I can jump on my bed. A: And I use a pillow on both of them.
If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.
Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.
I woke up this morning thinking it was gonna be a great day. But then I realized I was still alive.
I can't sleep, that's because you're dead.
Why are fish not sleeping? 'Cause the bed is wet.
My brother Taf likes to pee the bed.
Teacher: Great! You’re studying in break time!
Student: Thank you. I heard that it is good to study before sleep.
Time for you to stop looking at jokes on worstjokesever.com and go to bed!
Why did the dog 🐶 wake up tired?
It had a ruff night. 😂
What is your car? What was your time today after I had dinner night and night sleep night? Is it a night for you and a dinner night? Night dinner night? Was the snow? I had dinner night night dinner.
Last night, I dreamed I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea. (Fantasy)
