Slap Jokes

yo mama so fat that will smith could slap her from a mile away

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property

When I'm bored I like to slap orphans I mean what are they gonna do tell their parents

Your butt so big you can slap it and ride the waves.

Me and my friend are walking we see a kid my friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents he said yeah I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.

Guy asked me what I do for a living. Now I'm not old enough to get a job so I said nothing. He asked me again so I said, "Your wife" The guy goes to slap me but his wife is standing right there. She instead slapped me and said, "You swore not to tell!"

i went to an emo kid who just got a hair cut and instead of saying, like your cut g" and i slapped his arm and said i like your cuts g

I went up the temp girl and slapped her tests and said- “I like ya cut g”

How did Michael Jackson challenge the victim's parents? Then won't you slap my face, because I'm bad.

So I told an orphan to slap themselves untill they are wanted, I came back the next day to see them slapping themselves then I stopped them then told them to punch themselves. The next day a saw a dead orphan.

When you were born, you were so ugly, that the doctors slapped your parents. 👏🏻

Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.” Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

It was Christmas time for Little Johnny. He was going to make some cookies and milk for Santa until he heard shaking and moaning from his mother's bedroom. He thinks, "Meh, Dad's probably back from the grocery store". But 2 seconds later, he heard a "Ho Ho Ho Oh YEAH" and then a slap. He opens the door. He finds Santa riding on his 19 yr old mom. He asks, "Santa, when did you get here and WHAT are you doing?". Santa replied, "Your mother asked for her 'milk jar' to be filled, and that's what I am doing." Johnny says, "Oh." "But, Mom, you told me Dad was here, well where is he?"

(Santa winks at you)

I would slap you but that would be animal abuse (▼へ▼メ) (▼へ▼メ) (▼へ▼メ) (▼へ▼メ)

Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, “mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy’s clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started...”. The mother cuts him off and says “just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me.” Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting “I’m leaving you... Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier.” Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. “Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer.”