Slap Jokes

roses are red violets are blue if I slapped you that’d be animal abuse

one day i walk up to a emo kid i realized he had a fresh cut so i grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him i like ya cuts g

A special quote : “I was gonna slap that girl into tomorrow!”

What is the difference between an orphan and a non- orphan, you can slap the orphan but not the non- orphan because they can actually tell their parents

If I slap an orphan what will it do tell its parents?🤣😂🤣😂

will smiths slap was like 9/11. it came in unexpectedly and will go down in history

I was checking my shoe in my dad's wallet and he slapped me. What exactly did I do to warrant the slap

Slapped cheese on my white friend told him I like cheese on my crackers

Before Marriage Boy:At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No don't even thing about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy😍 After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.

Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, "mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy's clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started...". The mother cuts him off and says "just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me." Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting "I'm leaving you... Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier." Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. "Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer."

When I was 14 my mum caught me wanking and she slapped me across the face a couple weeks later my dad caught me having a beer and he made me drink 40 beers and I just thought we’ll I’m glad he didn’t catch me wanking

I saw this girl with blue hair and slapped her wrist and said “NICE CUT G”

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a ravishing blonde and an old lady are sharing a compartment on a train as it winds its way through the Alps. Every now and then the train passes through a tunnel, during which time the compartment is plunged into complete darkness. On one such occasion, a ringing slap is heard and as the train passes back into daylight, the Frenchman is rubbing his sore, red cheek.

The old lady thinks, "I bet that dirty Frenchman fondled the blonde and she struck the pervert."

The blonde thinks, "I bet that filthy Frenchman was looking to grope me in the dark, mistook the old lady for me and she slapped him."

The Frenchman thinks, "I bet that perfidious Englishman touched up the blonde in the dark and she slapped me by mistake."

The Englishman thinks, "I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that French twat again."

In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.

Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.” Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.