Slap jokes

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

*slaps* "We ask ze questions!"

Son: Dad, can I get a girlfriend?

Dad: Son, no, you are only 10, so no.

Son: Dad, I'm leaving to get a girlfriend.

Dad: Son, nooo, you are not my son!

Son: What did you say? *Son slaps the dad.*

Dad: Good, son, goodbye, get out of my home.

Son: Good, you can go move to a new home.

When I was 14, my mum caught me wanking, and she slapped me across the face. A couple weeks later, my dad caught me having a beer, and he made me drink 40 beers. I just thought, "Well, I'm glad he didn't catch me wanking."

What should more fun than slapping a baby?

Deez nutz.

Mother, father, and a son. Father purchased a robot that can detect lies. The robot slaps when you lie.

During dinner time: Father: Son, what have you done today? Son: I watched Netflix, Dad. Robot: Stood up and slapped the son! Son: Okay! Okay! I watched porn, Dad. Dad: What? You watched porn? You are only 14! I never knew porn till I was 18 years of age. Robot: Stood up and slapped the Dad! Mother: Started to laugh and said "Sure he is your son!" Robot: Stood up and slapped the mother!

Hehe

You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them.

Once my friend saw my wrist, slapped it and said "I like ya cuts, G!"

One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.

Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.

Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."

What do 2 emo kids say to each other?

"I like ya cut, G."

*Slaps wrist*

What do you call an angry Panera Bread?

Panera slapped!

I like your cut, G.

*Slaps really hard*

BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Hickory dickory dock. My wife avoids my cock. She's losing her and having an affair. So I had to slap Chris Rock.

When you were born, you were so ugly that the doctors slapped your parents!

You can slap, punch, knock out an orphan, what will they do? They don't have parents!

I was in the bedroom slapping your girl harder than Will at the Oscars.

What do Ben 10 and a disabled kid have in common? They both slap their wrist.

How did Michael Jackson challenge the victim's parents? "Then why won't you slap my face, because I'm bad?"

One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"

Your hairline is so pushed back it looks like Will Smith slapped it back.

Why did hockey wookie slap kissing Missy in the face? Because Huggy didn't get a kissy from Kissy Missy.