Size jokes

Your mom is so fat that when God said, "Let there be light," he asked your mom to move out of the way.

Yo mama so fat, when she walked past the TV, I missed three episodes.

I scaled your forehead, and all I saw was 1000.

Don't tell me I haven't got balls. I just happen to wear mine on my chest, and I can guarantee they're a lot bigger than yours!

Yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it said, "To Be Continued."

You're so skinny, you use chapstick as deodorant.

Why do midgets giggle when they run?

Because the grass tickles their balls.

Yo mama's so fat, when she sits on a dollar, four quarters pop out.

Why can’t baby ducks lay eggs? Because their quacks are too small.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Mama.

Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.

Why do midgets laugh when they run?

Because the grass is tickling their ballsacks!

Yo mama is so fat, I took a picture of her last year, and it is still printing.

Why are Mexican families so big?

They don’t know how to put a condom on.

Yo mama so fat, she could fly a hot air balloon by letting out her gas.

Yo mama is so fat, she falls off both sides of the bed.

One time I walked into a room and I saw a man and a dwarf, and I soon found out that the man was the dwarf's father, and I noticed that the dwarf really looked up to him.

To start, I'm a big fella in size.

I saw a skinny guy act like Santa, so I went over to him. "You can't pull that off," I said. He said, "Then you try it." He gave me the Santa suit, and I dressed up. He walked by and saw me with 45 kids in line to sit on my lap and tell me what they wanted for Christmas.

I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.

Your Momma's so fat, the recursive function calculating her mass causes a stack overflow.

Your forehead is so big, I thought you were Megamind for a second there.