Singing jokes
Me: I been up all night, no sleep--
The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.
Me: stfu! I’m just singing!
Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!
Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!
Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......
What's the best song to sing to George Floyd?
"I Will Survive," by Gloria Gaynor.
What is a orphan's favorite song?
"We Are Family."
My son asked me to stop singing Oasis songs in public. I said maybe.
Bully: Oh, look at your shoes, look at your pants, look at your shirt, ay, ay, ay.
Me: Ding, ding, sing, oh, did you hear that? It's the elevator 'cause you're not on my level.
Bully: u_u ......
Crowd: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh
Yo mama so short, she wakes up every day in a brick house singing “Everything is Awesome”.
What did Michael Jackson say when dinner was ready? Ea-ea-eat.
Minecraft YouTube, but I can sing Believer!
YouTube, but I'm making a first video in YouTube.
And I record all the Minecraft videos and upload.
Ooohh! To try it and upload. Ooohh!
I've been recorded to streaming, couple more sleeps to do the dreaming.
I finally get to the stronghold, and if you told me, you told me, you told me, you told me.
Place some more ender eyes, and it's time to big surprise.
It's time to kill the ender dragon, go into the...
END!
Take that crystal, take that crystal, Believer, Believer!
Knock him down, knock him down, Believer, Believer!
Axe it's head, axe it's head.
Axe it's head, defeat him.
SUBSCRIBE!!!
Period: Guess who’s back... back again...
Me: Ugh, can we not do this today?
Period: I can come back in 9 months?
Me: Keep fucking singing.
What do Karens do when they have free time?
They do KARENoke and sing a Karen song.
What's Michael Jackson's favorite hobby?
Nothing because he's dead.
A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn't need: grenades, guns, ammo—unless it was bolted down, it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude.
When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. "What's so funny?" he asks.
"Daddy farted and the house blew up," said a singed little boy.
When a kindergarten teacher asks a kid to sing the alphabet, he said "ab3defg." The teacher said, "Do you like 3D?" He said, "Yeah." The teacher yelled, "Okay, do you have a 3DS?" He said yes. The teacher goes into his bag and says, "Say ABCs or your 3DS will be destroyed." He says, "ab3defghijlmnopqrs." "Oh, he learned well." The teacher threw the 3DS out the window. The kid gets it, and it still works. Then he googles ABCs. It goes to YouTube and says, "abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz." The teacher is proud of the 3DS. The class went home telling parents.
Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it's a soap opera.
Why is your forehead so shiny? Did somebody laminate you? You're so shiny, Mulan can look into your forehead and sing "Reflection."
Your mom sings "It's the Final Countdown" while pooping.
Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put him in the microwave until his bill Withers.
A teacher wanted to sing, so she did. This is what she said:
"You have no family, even though you're broker than me."
Yo mama so stupid, she shoved two AA batteries up her ass and started singing, "I’ve Got The Power!"