Singing Jokes

Jon
in Boy

A hired gun gets on a private plane to his next contract. Halfway through the trip, he notices the plane rapidly losing altitude. So he opens that back of the plane and starts tossing out everything he doesn’t need. Grenades, guns, ammo unless it was bolted down it went out. He stopped throwing things out when the plane started to regain altitude. When the plane lands, he sees some kids giggling on the side of the road. “What’s so funny?”, he asks. “Daddy farted and the house blew up,” said a singed little boy.

The teacher asked a young boy in primary school “Can you tell me the alphabet?”

To which the boy replies “No”

The teacher then sets his homework to learn the alphabet.

At home, the boy goes up to his mum, who is on the phone, and asks “Can you tell me the alphabet?”

“Shut up” she replied

The boy goes to his dad, who just won the footie match, and asks “Can you teach me the alphabet?”

But the dad is too busy celebrating and shouting “Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!”

The boy goes to his big brother and asks him to teach him the alphabet.

But his brother is singing “I’m Michael Jackson, I’m Michael Jackson!”

The boy goes to his sister and asks her for the alphabet.

But his sister is singing “In my big red car, in my big red car!”

The next day the teacher asks him the alphabet.

The boy replies “Shut up.”

“Alright, I’m sending you to the principal’s office right now.”

The boy replies “Hell yeah! Hell yeah! Yeaaahh!”

In the office, the principal says “who do you think you are?”

The boy replies “I’m Michael Jackson, I’m Michael Jackson!”

The principal now says “how do you think you’ll get away with this?”

The boy them replies “In my big red car, in my big red car!”

0
Anonymous
in Cow

Where do you find a cow with no legs? right where you left it!!!

A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans. When she gets home his husband puts a blindfold on hair and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes of the blind fold the lady sees 12 people with pegs on there nose singing happy birthday!!!

Anonymous
in Uranus

I always knew that Maranda sings was orbiting Uranus

Anonymous
in Puns

Why did the pervert sing Gucci Gang? Because a woman just gave him a lil pump

EggLord
in Puns

Why do cats like to sing? They’re very mewsical.

0
Anonymous

Why was Stephen Hawking disappointed when he got his Christmas present? It was singing lessons.

Anonymous
in Orphan

What song can’t Orphans sing? “Sweet home Alabama”

Jamie
in Puns

My son asked me to stop singing Oasis songs in public I said maybe

Despacito Spider
in Annoying

Little Jimmy was in the shower singing “Dame Tu Cosita” , and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy’s mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit and the shower, and Jimmy yells “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP”

Anonymous

What is 50 cents least favorite store

The dollar store

kaiden
in Orphan

why can’t orphans go to school? they need their parents to sing them up.

fannymucher

have you ever heard steven hawkings sing? “head, shoulders, wheels and frames wheels and frames”

Anonymous

Roblox Talent Shows be like: Host: Next Up is Bob! Bob: Hi! I’ll be singing Pian- Buzzing Noises Judges: You suck! Bob: I’m reporting! Bob get’s kicked from the server

What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing never gonna gove you up?

You get PRICKrolled.

Anonymous

bully : oh look at your shoes, look at your pants, look at your shirt ay ay ay

Me : ding, ding, sing oh did you hear that its the elevator cause your not on my level …

bully : u_u …

crwd : Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

Anonymous
in Hotness

Why can’t the anyone sing “hit me with your best shot” at the veterans ball karaoke? : because every time she sang the line “fire away” some one starting shooting!