Sign jokes
I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
1: Hey.
2: What?
1: We're outta paint.
2: *HMM*
(And that's how stop signs have extra paint.)
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Knock knock.
WHO'S THERE?
*Starts putting up hand signs.*
Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.
Orphans: Going 180.
Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:
TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."
Smart kid!
Helen threw up gang signs her whole life and didn't know.
All zodiac signs have a signature hairstyle except for cancer. :)
Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.
Why did Helen Keller sign the n-word?
She thought she was black.
If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?
An American.
"Rape[is] the only sign of world peace in this life."
An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."
He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"
He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."
I beat up a deaf kid the other day. I had to. He kept throwing up gang signs.
Dear doctor,
I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?
Yours Truly, Ray Palp
Yo mama's so stupid, she drowned in the pond because the sign said, "No Swimming!"
Why can't an orphan sign up for adoption websites?
Parental Login: __________
Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.
Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?
Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.
Why can't orphans play games?
Parents signed.