Sign jokes
Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*
Me: Uh, male?..
Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*
Me: You silly goose.
*Silence for like three seconds*
Me: Still male though-
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How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.
Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I?
I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly, Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dove to save it. He said he always dives for pens.
This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."
Why are handicap signs blue? Because they're all Crips. (sorry)
You know you’re going bald when you use more toothpaste than shampoo.
I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
1: Hey.
2: What?
1: We're outta paint.
2: *HMM*
(And that's how stop signs have extra paint.)
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Knock knock.
WHO'S THERE?
*Starts putting up hand signs.*
Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.
Orphans: Going 180.
Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:
TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."
Smart kid!
Helen threw up gang signs her whole life and didn't know.
All zodiac signs have a signature hairstyle except for cancer. :)
Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.
Why did Helen Keller sign the n-word?
She thought she was black.