Sign

Sign jokes

Cousin

7 views ·

Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:

TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."

Smart kid!

Finger

1 view ·

Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.

Language

1 view ·

If someone who speaks two languages is bilingual, and someone who speaks many languages is multilingual, then what do you call someone who speaks one language?

An American.

Man

18 views ·

An African man was walking in New York when he saw a sign that said, "Watch out for children."

He started laughing hysterically, then a white man asked him, "Why are you laughing?"

He said, "In Africa, they would never put up a sign like that."

Sex

12 views ·

Dear doctor,

I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?

Yours Truly, Ray Palp

Contract

1 view ·

Listen, Man United might not thank me but get the contract out, put it on the table. Let him sign it, let him write whatever numbers he wants to put on there, given what he's done since he's come in. Ole's at the wheel, man. He's doing it. He's doing his thing. Man United are BACK.

Stress

3 views ·

Why is Donald Trump under so much stress?

Because he signed up to be on an album where somebody says "no love for the rich" on it.

Hooker

27 views ·

What does the sign say on the hooker house after they were on lockdown?

Answer: "We're on lockdown, get lost pervert."