Chuck Norris has been to Mars... that's why there are no signs of life there.
What's the difference between an amateur thief and a professional thief?
The amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!" The professional thief says, "Sign here please."
Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos?
Because the sign says "No Tres passing."
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, pretty ironic how she died.
She was eaten by a giant crab.
