The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you're signing someone's cast.
What language do billboards speak?
Sign language.
You signed up for football, but you're no good.
So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*
Me: Uh, male?..
Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*
Me: You silly goose.
*Silence for like three seconds*
Me: Still male though-
Welcome to the X Union. Sign up below.
Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I?
I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly, Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dove to save it. He said he always dives for pens.
This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."
Why are handicap signs blue? Because they're all Crips. (sorry)
I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
1: Hey.
2: What?
1: We're outta paint.
2: *HMM*
(And that's how stop signs have extra paint.)
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Knock knock.
WHO'S THERE?
*Starts putting up hand signs.*
Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.
Orphans: Going 180.
Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:
TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."
Smart kid!
Helen threw up gang signs her whole life and didn't know.
All zodiac signs have a signature hairstyle except for cancer. :)
