What language do billboards speak?
Sign language.
You signed up for football, but you're no good.
So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?
Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*
Me: Uh, male?..
Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*
Me: You silly goose.
*Silence for like three seconds*
Me: Still male though-
Welcome to the X Union. Sign up below.
Did the people of England see a "game over" sign in the sky when the queen died?
My ex was an orphan as a child.
I should have taken that as the first sign.
If her parents didn't want her, why would I?
I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly, Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dove to save it. He said he always dives for pens.
This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."
Why are handicap signs blue? Because they're all Crips. (sorry)
I love Alabama. I live there. I have a sign that says, "Sweet Home Alabama!"
When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,
You respond: "cancer."
Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"
1: Hey.
2: What?
1: We're outta paint.
2: *HMM*
(And that's how stop signs have extra paint.)
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Knock knock.
WHO'S THERE?
*Starts putting up hand signs.*
Stop sign: If you speed, I'll call your parents.
Orphans: Going 180.
Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:
TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."
Smart kid!
Helen threw up gang signs her whole life and didn't know.
All zodiac signs have a signature hairstyle except for cancer. :)
Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.
