Sign

Sign Jokes

So the other day, I was looking up zodiac sign stuff, you know, I'm a real big fan of that, and I come across this thing and it’s like all zodiac signs have their own hairstyles... except Cancer.

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn’t want her, why would I?

Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*

Me: Uh, male?..

Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*

Me: You silly goose.

*Silence for like three seconds*

Me: Still male though-

I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly, Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dove to save it. He said he always dives for pens.

This is true. Today I was at the mall and there was a guy holding a sign that said, "Need money for strippers and weed."

When the doctor asks you what your zodiac sign is,

You respond: "cancer."

Doctor says: "Well, what a coincidence!"

Signs my cousin is going places when he's older:

TEST QUESTION: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

He wrote: "At the bottom of the page."

Smart kid!